"Not Everybody Won"

i do not watch american idol. i do not follow american idol. i don't really care about american idol. that said, i heard a really thought-provoking comment this morning on the radio in the batch of post-season-finale call-ins from american idol fans.

a man said that he liked to watch american idol with his kids because it shows them that, unlike in public schools, "not everybody won". wow. so, as much as i would like to take credit for all of my ideas on this blog, i have to give the credit for today to that dad...

his comment got me thinking about all of the sick, twisted ways that the tv viewing public enjoys seeing other people hurt, humiliated, devastated, and utterly beaten. although i don't watch, i know about shows like fear factor. a friend told me recently about a show called dog eat dog. i saw the millionaire show a few times where the lady says, "you are the weakest link. goodbye." i know about donald trump and martha stewart firing people in their quest to find new worker bees. i was unlucky enough to see an episode of america's top model- basically american idol with no singing, i guess. and i am aware of shows wher the whole fun is that you vote people off the island.

so, my question is, what's up with people that they find joy and entertainment value in other people's suffering? i thought it was just a symptom of society gone wrong in general, like the roman hedonists who liked to watch christians being fed to lions. anything for your pleasure...

but, i think this dad on the radio captured the essence. maybe people are so sick and tired of rigidly enforced feel-good policies that praise mediocrity while ignoring (or punishing) superiority, that maybe they are ready for some payback. the kid who gets sidelined on the soccer team so the slower, weaker, less dedicated kid can have a turn? he wants to see someone voted off the island. the mom who tries to teach her kids right and wrong and provide firm guidelines, only to have the school give condoms to 10 year olds and the neighbor down the block host a co-ed sleepover party for the class of 13 year olds? she needs that model to get taken down a few notches. the man who gets passed over for a promotion at work so an undeserving minority candidate can get shored up? yep, a little simon cowell will blow off some steam. maybe if people can't be competitiove in real life, they will live it vicariously through others. the politically correct climate is so super-charged with over-sensitivity that any speech unfavorable to leftist positions is classified as hate speech. rather than rewarding achievement, we strive valiantly toward total middle-of-the-road-ness, to avoid offending anyone.

so maybe american idol is the backlash. maybe if boys could play tackle football with other boys at recess, they would get the difference between some good, fair competition and rude, mean treatment of people on tv shows. maybe if women didn't have to take mens' jobs to show that they are just as good as men (?????) then the men wouldn't have to either turn into softy sissy feminine shadows of themselves or become over testosteroned porn freak victimizers. if women could actually be valued for nurturing and raising a family instead of being told that motherhood is weak and a cop-out from a 'real' career, and not a respectable role model for their daughters, maybe they wouldn't delight quite so much in driving SUVs and seeing the models falling on the runway.

maybe if society would let people grow up with normal boundaries of competitiveness, and normal ideas about winning and losing, maybe we wouldn't need american idol. maybe if society would play itself out instead of being micromanaged as a social experiment, we wouldn't need to watch people eat bugs. maybe when there is recognition that men and women are different, and boys and girls are different, and that people have different skills, talents, and abilities, and that becomes okay, maybe then we won't need to watch people getting voted off the island, or scheming against their 'friends' to be able to stay on it. or at least we wouldn't laugh at it.

Navel Gazing In An Empty Bucket

i have come to the conclusion that americans- in fact all western mentalitied people- spend waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time in introspective self-analysis.

yes, yes, in olden days (the 80s?) people were way too busy for much introspection. they worked from sun up to sun down, no vacation days, no sick leave, yeah yeah yeah. that's not what i am talking about.

i think it is healthy to have some personal insights. i think it helps you understand who you are if you can integrate the personas of multiple layers of life experience into one coherent whole. i think people who don't bother to look a little deeper are often self-involved narcissists, or out and out sociopaths.

but i think this navel gazing has to stop. we, as a society, are overmediacted and under-accustomed to sucking it up on any level. we have such an exaggerated sense of self-importance that we really honestly believe that anyone on earth cares about us as much as we do. or the converse, that we are so horrible in the deepest darkest reaches of our hearts and minds that we should spend our whole lives being punished for that secret self that no one knows. that our impact on those around us has been so profound that we deserve to suffer, either consciously or unconsciously, and that the universe that revolves around us really does revolve around us.

you know what? get over it.

anyone who didn't get their needs met as a child (read: pretty much everyone alive, now or ever...) is an empty bucket. you will never ever be full, no matter how much you eat, or how many relationships you have, or how many awards you get, or how much money you earn, or how many people owe you a debt of gratitude. you will never fill that void that exists because your mother didn't pick you up fast enought when you cried when you were 5 months old, or your father was late to get you from school one day and you decided he forgot about you because he didn't love you enough.

you are scum if you think you are scum, whether you were abused catastrophically or treated like a princess who sometimes couldn't get her way.

you're trash if you think you are trash, and what you put out in the universe gets reflected back to you. you will never be good enough, or smart enough, or whatever enough, so why not celebrate your youness? it's the one thing in the world that nobody will ever be better at than you.

why is it only easy to believe the bad stuff?

you are an empty bucket with a gaping whole in the bottom that will never ever be full. you can spend your life sucking everyone dry, trying to fill it. you can keep pouring in everything and anything, desperately rolling the boulder up a hill and waiting for it to roll back down and crush you. you can whine and moan and beg and cajole and understand every trauma of your young lfe, or you can stop the noise and be quiet long enough to appreciate the journey.

savour your coffee, enjoy the smell of the rain, take a few extra minutes to hug someone you love to hug because you love it, stare at your favorite body part and say, 'damn, i look good!'. remember the feeling of really being loved, even if it ended in disaster. remember how it felt to have spending money and no bills, even if you were living at home with your parents who didn't understand you and drove you crazy. one time, just one time, buy the very very best, top of the line something, even if you don't need it. get shampoo that smells good. be around people who enjoy the moment, and you enjoy it too.

you can choose your journey. appreciate the path, even if it's strewn with shards of glass, and for goodness sake, GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE BUCKET!!!!!

You Know What They Say About Assuming...

assume for a moment that i am not talking about you.

assume for a moment that if i had something to say about you, that i would say it directly, either on my blog, on yours, to your face, or all of the above.

assume for a moment that i am as wrapped up in myself as you are in yourself, and that i am actually blogging about an issue i was considering, rather than trying to take a stab at you.

assume for a moment that you actually do not know my entire circle of friends and acquaintances, and that maybe, just maybe, i am talking to or about someone you don't even know.

assume that it is not you who is ticking me off, and assume that if you post some whiny 'it's all about me' style comment that i will erase it and then actually blog about how stupid and whiny you are.

assume that it's not PMS.

assume that although you have issues, everyone has issues, and it really isn't always all about you. really.

assume that it's not only assuming that makes an ass out of u (but not me).

assume that the blogbrit is horrified by this post.

but you know what they say about assuming...

Whiners, Not Winners

a loooooooong time ago, when i was a relatively new teacher, the powers that be came up with a really great way to deal with the teenage angst we encountered on a daily (hourly) (okay, minute by minute) basis. whenever we were faced with the inevitable, "but mrs. blooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooond, we have tooooooooooooooo muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch homewooooooooooooooooooooooooooork tonight. it's noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaair!" or, "is this on the teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeest? but it's soooooooo muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch. we can't dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!" we were supposed to flash a sign to the class. this sign has been carefully fonted, printed, embellished, and laminated for maximum effect.

it said, "we are winners, not whiners."

do i sound like i'm kidding? do you really think that is even funny to say as a joke? sadly, i am totally serious. was this effective? yeah, like as effective as hilary clinton would be in pursuading me that it takes a village to raise my children...

so, why am i pondering whining and winning? i am wondering what blogs would be like if there was no whining. or if blogs had ratings, like 1-5 tissues worth of snotty tears shed over how pathetic your life and blog are. maybe the rating could be 1-5 valium- how much the reader needs in order to get through your post, or how much the author should be on in order to just get a grip. they could use figures from the headlines- like, "my blog is like terry schiavo- brain dead, starving and dying- read at your own risk..." or "my blog is a donald trump- careless and self centered with a bad comb-over."

the question is, what would people talk about if they weren't throwing a pity party? and how many less people would read them?

but the real question is, how much better would they feel about themselves?

this blog has been rated a mike tyson- ear biting and illiterate, with no thought as to the consequences...

Just Say No

i have a friend who has a list on the side of his blog- bloggers i know, bloggers i feel like i know, bloggers i should know, bloggers i wish i knew, etc etc etc.

in that vein, i propose a similar listing here. but i would put

bloggers who are on crack
bloggers who act like they're on crack
bloggers who should be on crack

any suggestions or nominees?

Playing Catch-Up In Blogland

so, here's the long overdue blog about blogs. so many friends have now started blogs, and so many new bloggers have come across my radar, and so many blogs that i love (well, okay, only one or two) are not actualy linked on my blog. so, i decided that it is time to do a catch-up list of the good, the bad, and the blogly...

first, of course, is josh's blog. it's called why josh can't be left alone, and i am a total groupee. i don't know why i like it so much- except that in ways he reminds me of me, so it may be a simple narcissistc indulgence...- but anyway, i am a big fan, and i think everyone should check him out. oh, and his blog...

next is rebel without a clue. she has a fledgling blog, which she may even be able to link to mine, but she has a lot to say. i think that over time, as her blog grows and her thougths develop, she will amass quite a following, so you can be one of the first! she is definitely worth a read and a few words of encouragement for a newbie blogger.

an up-and-coming favorite is kaenahora. she is witty, insightful, edgy, and hilariously tongue-in-cheek. so far everything she has said has given me a smile, and more often than not, nods of approval. if you don't love the way she thinks, please assume the problem lies with you and not with her...

a blow-my-mind blog is mishlei shlomo from sl aronovitz. he is so brilliant the it is actually frightening, and although his posts tend to be longer than my attention span, they are well-worth reading. he is very mired in misguided (but inspired) leftism, but his posts are always well thought-out and reflectiive of an inquiring mind, rather than so many others (even some of those with whom i agree) who just spit back rhetoric and try to pass it off as original thought. beware, weak minds, of being sucked into the vortex of his seeming logic...

last for now is a new blog by the tailor and the idiot. you can get to it from josh's blog. they are going to be doing movie reviews, from what i understand. although i don't read either of them, i just want to wish them the best of luck.

btw, if there are any mistakes in spelling of blog names that you can correct, or if anyone in the comment section knows how to do links, please feel free.

enjoy!

Playing Catch-Up In Blogland

so, here's the long overdue blog about blogs. so many friends have now started blogs, and so many new bloggers have come across my radar, and so many blogs that i love (well, okay, only one or two) are not actualy linked on my blog. so, i decided that it is time to do a catch-up list of the good, the bad, and the blogly...

first, of course, is josh's blog. it's called why josh can't be left alone, and i am a total groupee. i don't know why i like it so much- except that in ways he reminds me of me, so it may be a simple narcissistc indulgence...- but anyway, i am a big fan, and i think everyone should check him out. oh, and his blog...

next is rebel without a clue. she has a fledgling blog, which she may even be able to link to mine, but she has a lot to say. i think that over time, as her blog grows and her thougths develop, she will amass quite a following, so you can be one of the first! she is definitely worth a read and a few words of encouragement for a newbie blogger.

an up-and-coming favorite is kaenahora. she is witty, insightful, edgy, and hilariously tongue-in-cheek. so far everything she has said has given me a smile, and more often than not, nods of approval. if you don't love the way she thinks, please assume the problem lies with you and not with her...

a blow-my-mind blog is mishlei shlomo from sl aronovitz. he is so brilliant the it is actually frightening, and although his posts tend to be longer than my attention span, they are well-worth reading. he is very mired in misguided (but inspired) leftism, but his posts are always well thought-out and reflectiive of an inquiring mind, rather than so many others (even some of those with whom i agree) who just spit back rhetoric and try to pass it off as original thought. beware, weak minds, of being sucked into the vortex of his seeming logic...

last for now is a new blog by the tailor and the idiot. you can get to it from josh's blog. they are going to be doing movie reviews, from what i understand. although i don't read either of them, i just want to wish them the best of luck.

btw, if there are any mistakes in spelling of blog names that you can correct, or if anyone in the comment section knows how to do links, please feel free.

enjoy!