Navel Gazing In An Empty Bucket
i have come to the conclusion that americans- in fact all western mentalitied people- spend waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time in introspective self-analysis.
yes, yes, in olden days (the 80s?) people were way too busy for much introspection. they worked from sun up to sun down, no vacation days, no sick leave, yeah yeah yeah. that's not what i am talking about.
i think it is healthy to have some personal insights. i think it helps you understand who you are if you can integrate the personas of multiple layers of life experience into one coherent whole. i think people who don't bother to look a little deeper are often self-involved narcissists, or out and out sociopaths.
but i think this navel gazing has to stop. we, as a society, are overmediacted and under-accustomed to sucking it up on any level. we have such an exaggerated sense of self-importance that we really honestly believe that anyone on earth cares about us as much as we do. or the converse, that we are so horrible in the deepest darkest reaches of our hearts and minds that we should spend our whole lives being punished for that secret self that no one knows. that our impact on those around us has been so profound that we deserve to suffer, either consciously or unconsciously, and that the universe that revolves around us really does revolve around us.
you know what? get over it.
anyone who didn't get their needs met as a child (read: pretty much everyone alive, now or ever...) is an empty bucket. you will never ever be full, no matter how much you eat, or how many relationships you have, or how many awards you get, or how much money you earn, or how many people owe you a debt of gratitude. you will never fill that void that exists because your mother didn't pick you up fast enought when you cried when you were 5 months old, or your father was late to get you from school one day and you decided he forgot about you because he didn't love you enough.
you are scum if you think you are scum, whether you were abused catastrophically or treated like a princess who sometimes couldn't get her way.
you're trash if you think you are trash, and what you put out in the universe gets reflected back to you. you will never be good enough, or smart enough, or whatever enough, so why not celebrate your youness? it's the one thing in the world that nobody will ever be better at than you.
why is it only easy to believe the bad stuff?
you are an empty bucket with a gaping whole in the bottom that will never ever be full. you can spend your life sucking everyone dry, trying to fill it. you can keep pouring in everything and anything, desperately rolling the boulder up a hill and waiting for it to roll back down and crush you. you can whine and moan and beg and cajole and understand every trauma of your young lfe, or you can stop the noise and be quiet long enough to appreciate the journey.
savour your coffee, enjoy the smell of the rain, take a few extra minutes to hug someone you love to hug because you love it, stare at your favorite body part and say, 'damn, i look good!'. remember the feeling of really being loved, even if it ended in disaster. remember how it felt to have spending money and no bills, even if you were living at home with your parents who didn't understand you and drove you crazy. one time, just one time, buy the very very best, top of the line something, even if you don't need it. get shampoo that smells good. be around people who enjoy the moment, and you enjoy it too.
you can choose your journey. appreciate the path, even if it's strewn with shards of glass, and for goodness sake, GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE BUCKET!!!!!
yes, yes, in olden days (the 80s?) people were way too busy for much introspection. they worked from sun up to sun down, no vacation days, no sick leave, yeah yeah yeah. that's not what i am talking about.
i think it is healthy to have some personal insights. i think it helps you understand who you are if you can integrate the personas of multiple layers of life experience into one coherent whole. i think people who don't bother to look a little deeper are often self-involved narcissists, or out and out sociopaths.
but i think this navel gazing has to stop. we, as a society, are overmediacted and under-accustomed to sucking it up on any level. we have such an exaggerated sense of self-importance that we really honestly believe that anyone on earth cares about us as much as we do. or the converse, that we are so horrible in the deepest darkest reaches of our hearts and minds that we should spend our whole lives being punished for that secret self that no one knows. that our impact on those around us has been so profound that we deserve to suffer, either consciously or unconsciously, and that the universe that revolves around us really does revolve around us.
you know what? get over it.
anyone who didn't get their needs met as a child (read: pretty much everyone alive, now or ever...) is an empty bucket. you will never ever be full, no matter how much you eat, or how many relationships you have, or how many awards you get, or how much money you earn, or how many people owe you a debt of gratitude. you will never fill that void that exists because your mother didn't pick you up fast enought when you cried when you were 5 months old, or your father was late to get you from school one day and you decided he forgot about you because he didn't love you enough.
you are scum if you think you are scum, whether you were abused catastrophically or treated like a princess who sometimes couldn't get her way.
you're trash if you think you are trash, and what you put out in the universe gets reflected back to you. you will never be good enough, or smart enough, or whatever enough, so why not celebrate your youness? it's the one thing in the world that nobody will ever be better at than you.
why is it only easy to believe the bad stuff?
you are an empty bucket with a gaping whole in the bottom that will never ever be full. you can spend your life sucking everyone dry, trying to fill it. you can keep pouring in everything and anything, desperately rolling the boulder up a hill and waiting for it to roll back down and crush you. you can whine and moan and beg and cajole and understand every trauma of your young lfe, or you can stop the noise and be quiet long enough to appreciate the journey.
savour your coffee, enjoy the smell of the rain, take a few extra minutes to hug someone you love to hug because you love it, stare at your favorite body part and say, 'damn, i look good!'. remember the feeling of really being loved, even if it ended in disaster. remember how it felt to have spending money and no bills, even if you were living at home with your parents who didn't understand you and drove you crazy. one time, just one time, buy the very very best, top of the line something, even if you don't need it. get shampoo that smells good. be around people who enjoy the moment, and you enjoy it too.
you can choose your journey. appreciate the path, even if it's strewn with shards of glass, and for goodness sake, GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE BUCKET!!!!!
posted by BlogBlond @ 4:02 PM
2 Comments:
At Monday, May 22, 2006 7:27:00 AM,
Mata Hari said…
Is it western mentality (american), or is it being jewish?
We're told that each person should feel as though the world were created just for him.
We're told that to save one life means to save a world.
We're told that we need to maximize our potential, use every moment wisely, assess our skills and weaknesses, and soul search to determine where we've sinned, what we need to fix, how we can improve ourselves, etc. etc.
No wonder there's so much introspection.
Now...if you're just talking about narcissism and hedonism...that's a different story.
At Monday, May 22, 2006 4:54:00 PM,
Josh said…
If we don't gaze, then who'll remove the belly button lint?
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