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Tuesday, December 14, 2010

new reality shows

ok- guilty pleasure confession: last night i watched a show called the sing-off. or sing along? or some deviation on that theme- it's several acapella groups competeing against each other for a relatively meager cash prize and probably fame and fortune.

first of all, i found it interesting that the cash was so little. i think they win $100,000.00- which is nothing to sneeze at, but after dividing it among all members of the group and after taxes literally would not even pay our grocery bills for the year. i was under the impression that other shows gave like, a million dollars for putting up with their nonsense.

second, i think one of the judges is literally stoned half out of her mind. she starts most of her appraisels with, "i agree with ___________________ "(whoever spoke just before her, regardless of who that is or what they said). several times she actually made a comment and then followed up with, "wait, did that happen?" or "wait, did you really do that?" all with a straight smile and a glazed expression that said she was one oxycontin short of a coma....one of the judges was in a boy band- i think in the 80s?- and although he can hit a few notes, he doesn't seem to have too much musical background- except that he clearly likes more black/gospel type sounds and clearly dislikes and is uninspired by anything that sounds too "white". the final judge actually writes music, so at least he has some grasp of musical composition, but he comes across as sooooooo nerdy and sooooooooo mellow that we jokingly predict he will say things like, "wow. that song reminds me of mayonaise..."

on the commercial breaks, we speculated on other game shows that might be popular with the ever lowered standards of the american viewing audience.

#1- america's got nerve. it's like america's got talent, except whoever gets voted off the show gets executed. this week, the loser will be electrocuted in front of a live stdio audience... next week, watch and see what happens with this length of piano wire...

#2- america's top martyr. a game show for muslims where whoever wins gets blown up and gets to meet his maker sooner than the rest. i figure it's a win-win situation. people get entertained, potential terrorists go to heaven, and nobody has to get hurt. i might even offer to flip the switch on that show...

#3- america's got no talent. c'mon- you know half the fun people have when they watch these competitions is to see the people with no talent who think they are "all that"- or at least who have enough gumption to go on TV to make fools of themselves. so, cut out the middle man and have a show just to showcase people who, we can all admit, entertain us by having no talent at all.

#4- america's got idiots. let's face it, a shockingly lot of people love to watch others doing foolish things. instead of elevating it, just show it for what is it- a bunch of idiots (often drunk???) who will do maniacal things just to get attention. oh, wait- they already made this and i think it's called jackass. but it's wildly popular, so go figure...

that's all i can remember for now, but feel free to submit your own ideas for consideration. you never know, a big talent scout might be an avid (albeit secret) reader of this blog...

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