BlogBlond

Monday, March 27, 2006

I Think, Therefore I Am Not

listening to reports about the pro-illegal immigrant march/rally the other day, i was hit by a particularly pithy slogan: "i am not a criminal!"

assuming this placard was carried by an immigrant of the non-legal variety (which it must have been, or else, why bother?), i am left with the question: if a person who does an action which is not legal and is, in fact, a crime, is not a criminal, then who is?

being a blond who was substandardly educated in a failing quasi-suburban school system, i decided to consult my favorite navy blue dictionary. it does, in fact, define a criminal as someone who- hold on for this shocker- has committed a crime. woooooooooooooooooa...

so, here's the math: sneaking across our border in the dead of night, or when the border agent's back is turned, or paying someone to smuggle you in their trunk or oil tanker or flower delivery van, or whatever, which is ILLEGAL= breaking a law= committing a crime=you are a criminal. am i missing something here?

why do people get to redefine words that were perfectly clear in the first place, just to further their own agenda? and why doesn't anyone catch on? if i held up a sign that said i was a 7'1 black man, would i get drafted to the NBA and offered 67 gazillion dollars a season? i had a friend from africa (parents were missionaries) who happened to be white. when he put "african-american" on his financial aid forms, he was screamed at, ridiculed and threatened, even though HE WAS AFRICAN-AMERICAN!! and he was told by the befuddled financial aid officer something like, "you might indeed be african-american in a certain sense, but that is not who this financial aid money is for..." huh? so african-american means only black people who have never ever in any generation they have known, even been to africa? oooooooooooooooooooooh, beg pardon...

okay, in this whole p.c. culture i get that a baby is a fetus if it is not wanted, and a baby if it is. discrimination based on race is affirmative action if you are for it, and discrimination if you are against it. temperature fluctuations are global warming if you believe the hype, and normal seasonal variations if you have been alive longer than 10 minutes. but why doesn;t anyone seem to notice? is this a case of "you can fool most of the people most of the time"? where is the line between use of language to spin an issue and just outright wrongness that flies in the face of reason?

if this man had said i don't want to be thought of as a criminal, i get that. if he had said it is not fair to make me a criminal (even though he made himself a criminal, but whatever...), okay- i hear it. if they were marching around saying decriminalize immigration- fine. but saying that he really is a criminal is not, in my humble opinion, any different than saying that i have hair on my head. it is an unbiased non-judgemental statement of fact. if i don't like that fact, i can certainly do something to change it, but I HAVE NOT CHANGED THE REALITY MERELY BY CLAIMING THAT IT IS NOT WHAT IT IS.

so, why do so many latch on to these slogans when they are objectively false? and why can't i just say, "i'm so thin" and fit into a size 2? i think i'll go shave my head for inspiration...

Monday, March 20, 2006

The Protocols Of The Elders Of Blogland

i will try my best not to implicate the guilty in this post, but if you are reading it, and you see yourself, you're just gonna have to suck it up...

apparently, i violated some sacred code of blogger conduct a few posts back. i mentioned something that happened that frustrated me, but i did not go to the origin of the frustration and try to "work it out" first.

okay, so my thinking about blogs is that they are pretty much a free-for-all of stream of consciousness writing and random thoughts about random subjects. to put it bluntly, i am of the following mindset: my blog, my universe, my rules.

if what i say violates your deeply-held moral principles of right and wrong and upsets your universe, either deal with it and take it like a man, or quit reading this blog.

so, i am wondering- am i alone in this view? is there really some code of conduct somewhere in the small print that i missed out, yet signed on to uphold? it is entirely possible that i am the witch (yes, the kind that starts with a B) that i have been accused of being. it is even likely at certian junctures that i am all about me (duh, i have a BLOG!!) and don't see the other side. i am blogging to process my own shtick when i should be fighting for truth, justice, the american way, and the goose-stepping adherence to the protocols of blogland. but who gets to make that up?

and if you can't take me, yet still obsessively read my blog, shouldn't that be your bad and not mine?

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Red Is For Love And Other Moral Dilemmas That Aren't

recent news reports about the south dakota abortion law had me both cheering and cringing. i cheered because finally some people somewhere had the guts to just do the right thing and challenge the high holy roe v. wade. i cringed because of the lack of exception for rape and incest. then, i felt like a big knee jerk.

several years ago, when i was teaching high school, one of my students brought a grave problem to my attention. another one of her teachers, a recent college grad, had explained to the class that teachers shouldn't grade papers in red ink because red was a color that said "stop". this new teacher, fresh from the indoctrination of the psychobabble of an american university, graded only in green, a color which said, "go". when i handed back a bunch of graded papers, complete with smiley faces, balloons, and even confetti (if the score was high enough to merit a party...), my students grimaced in dismay. they explained my faux pas, in slow careful words, as if an old-fangled teacher like me could not possibly have been expected to comprehend this new-fangled understanding of children's sensitive minds. i informed them that they had it all wrong, and, in actual fact, red was a color of love. witness the schoolgirl drawing hearts all over her books- red, red, red... lipstick kisses on the mirror? red. all manner of valentine's day gifts and confections? red and more red. so really, when i mark their papers in red, it shows that i love them and care about them becoming literate and succeeding in the future. after a few weeks, the ban on red ink faded away, like so many other fads, but that experience stayed with me, showing me the power of programming people's expectations and reactions. what a paradigm shift...

so, what does this have to do with babies and abortions? it's all about the paradigm shift. what if, and please just go with this for a second- we are so trained to look at carrying a baby who is the result of rape or incest as a victimization that we don't even stop to think about shifting the paradigm? what if, instead of viewing the pregnancy as a further abuse perpetrated on the victim, we were trained to look at it as a totally redemptive thing? how about viewing the baby as the only good to come out of a tragedy? what would our perspective be if, throughout our lives, we had heard about these heroic girls, who in spite of horrible acts inflicted on them, were so privledged that they were able to bring new (innocent!) life into the world? i have been so indocrinated to believe that this baby that would grow inside of the girl like a cancer, would be a constant, festering reminder of probably one of the worst times in her life, that i can barely wrap my mind around the idea that this might not objectively be the case. what if human life (or at least new, innocent human life) was so valued in our society that pregnancy resulting from rape or incest would be the moral equivalent of having a burglar in your home leave behind a lottery ticket which turns out to have all the winning numbers? the original event was an abomination, but the aftermath was completely transformative and uplifing. how much more clarity would we have if we could look beyond what we have been trained to believe and just accept a paradigm shift?

what would society look like if protecting innocent human life was never a moral dilemma?

what if red pen really just shows up better against black or blue ink?

what if every decision uplifted instead of agitating or disturbing?

what if having a baby really is like winning the lottery?

just some food for thought after a long hiatus...

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Out Of The Closet And Into The Fire, Mixed Cliches, and Mixed Nuts...

yes, we have finally come up for air, after the long awaited wedding of anysara and soulmate! although every blog i checked so far is discissing the same topic, i figured i would throw in my 3 cents worth. so, here are my cliff notes for the wedding of the century (blogbrit and i got married in the last century...):

photochick was stunning in a glamour girl kinda way. she did this thing with her hair that was totally fashionista-on-the-runway beautiful, and her gown was artsy beautiful in a completely photochick style...the tailor was distinguished looking and appropriately black-hattish about the whole affair. his bracha at the end of sheva brochos was amazing, done perfectly, and truly heartfelt. sadly, he may now have to start going out for ice cream with s.s. instead of anysara...b-2 looked absolutely lovely- picture perfect and fresh-young-thing energetic. she danced with the blondlets and made anysara really happy by being there...josh was a special treat for all involved. his roadtrip made everyone so excited- especially the junior blonds. he is totally adorable in person, and even though he left his hello gift in our house, he came through with flying colours when in came to being m'samayach the chooson v'kallah. soulamte is still smiling about the elvis memorabilia and when i jokingly suggested that he could feed it to his dog, he about fell out of his chair with indignation...dimmy and mrs dimmy have now sent me multiple nastygrams about not being able to spend qulaity friend time with them when they were in town, so although it is great that they came in, and their kids were really cute, i'll have to reserve further niceties about them until they chill the heck out...blogbrit was awesome in every way. true to form, he handled everything with grace and diplomacy. from being thrown out of his own home for the shabbos kallah, to shlepping the family for photos before the chasunah, to making sure that everyone felt included and special at the dancing, to setting up for sheva brochos while i ran out to do a last minute errand, he rose to the occasion in every way, and made me fall in love with him all over again about a million times...

and, last but not least, anysara and soulmate- he was clearly in Love (yes, with a capital L). the way he looked at her just took your breath away, and he was so full of true joy and happiness that it makes losing anysara almost bearable. you could tell that he really Knows that she is his One True Love- the kind you write songs and poems about, and the kind that makes you feel lucky and blessed every day of your life. He is actually good enough for her- no small feat- and has passed muster with everyone who loves her- we know he will do right by her in every way and cherish her for being the amazing person she is. and for that, we love him as well...anysara was like the magical fairy princess in a young girl's dreams. she was appropriately in the clouds the whole time, and just radiated pure joy. she was a vision of the contentment of a soul that has truly found its other half, and everyone who was around her just got wrapped up in her bliss. she looked breathtaking, and gorgeous, and handled the whole day with more grace under pressure than i could muster even in my dreams. she just exuded this energy that made the day feel like all things are possible, and she managed to make about 150 people who have almost no connection in real life feel like the closest of friends. it was wonderful to see how many lives she has touched, and that she has touched them so deeply that they would come from all corners of the map to be there for her to share her day. she was everything you want a bride to be, and if it wasn't for my total denial of the fact that she is moving tomorrow night, i would probably be falling to pieces at the thought of her not being around...but, i am more happy for her than i know how to say, more proud of her than i probably should admit, and more a fan of hers than she will ever know. i really do wish her and soulmate every happiness in the truest sense of forever. i wish them a love that is as all-consuming as on their wedding day, becomes deeper and closer with each passing moment, and is always at the forefront of their world. we love you guys!!! now quit sniffling!!!!!!!!!