Love And Other Indoor Sports

last night my husband got a rather large flat screen SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. (please be discreet here, since people in my community generally frown on these things as wastes of time, polluters of souls, and bastions of filth)

he and my oldest son had a hand slapping, back patting, grand ole time shopping for, buying, and setting up said offensive object. they rented videos, got plenty of junkfood, a few beverages, and were pretty much happier than i have seen either one of them in a long long time. they had that same goofy spaced out smile that my baby gets after she has made a particularly satisfying dirty diaper... mmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmm good...

my husband apparently fell asleep with his new toy in the den last night. not that i paid much attention, but he crawled into bed this morning at approximately sometime aound, oh, let's say 5:18a.m. (and 26 seconds...) . now, this wouldn't be so bad, excpet that this morning when i went inot the den, she gave me a really nasty look. yes, the THING glared at me. with impunity. like, yeah- i got your man- now what are YOU gonna do about it???

so i was thinking- maybe from now on i should become more watchable. perhaps i should make salads with a machate instead of a petite girly paring knife. between veggies i could throw the knife up in the air, do three back flips, and catch the knife in my teeth. yeah, i am gonna cut the tomatoes now... this is called the action sequence...

i could start throwing plates at said hubby when he walks through the door. i could wear really trashy red lipstick and say really trashy words as i hurl anything that is not nailed down- and that is called a captivating plot...

now, as far as cinematography, that's a tough one to replicate. but then i realized that only "chicks" care about cinematography anyway, so that kind of solved itself.

my screen is not anywhere near 52 inches, and my volume controls are not as easily adjusted as my husband would like, but overall i am thinking that i am a keeper.

and, for the record, SHE is moving into the basement later today.

the question is: where will my One and Only sleep tonight?

stay tuned...