BlogBlond

why we don't travel more

2011-02-14T16:03:00.000-08:00

you go, blog baby

2011-02-13T15:22:00.000-08:00

blog baby, who is truly no longer a baby, never ceases to amaze me with her observations. the other day we were using some notecards to make small words for her to sound out- b-i-t spells bit. m-i-t spells mit. that sort of thing. so i spelled m-i-d and she says, "mid- like a midwife, right?" one of my other kids asked her, "do you know what a midwife is?" and my precious darling says, "sure. a midwife helps a baby get born."

how much do i love this kid???

men who love women and the women who let them

2011-01-17T13:20:00.001-08:00

julian assange, lover of gossip, slander, and top level secrets- is also a lover of women. it seems that on each leg of his tours, he finds a different willing woman (or several) and, um, partakes of her wares. when asked about his notoriously slutty behaviour, he responded that he just loves women. apparently, the women just love to be loved...

a famous rabbi gave a speech once about different types of love. one type stuck in my mind, and he referred to it as "ice cream love". i love how you make me feel. i love what you can do for me. i love how you meet my needs and gratify me. so i devour you. i erase you from the face of the earth because i love you so much. wow. not exactly every little girl's dream...

so, clearly julian assange has ice cream love for these women. the question is what the women get out of the exchange. HE gets to have his way, run his agenda, meet his needs, indulge in his animal side (repeatedly) etc etc etc. but unless he is exceptionally good in bed (why do i doubt that???), i am genuinely puzzled as to what they are getting. i guess it's like women who sleep with rock stars or movie stars or rappers. are they getting some kind of referred glory just by being in proximity to them? does their fame rub off if you rub them in the right spot? is it the thrill of chasing someone who is trying to be caught? i seriously don't get it. bragging rights? oooh- i slept with this really slutty guy who sleeps with everyone- go, me!

so julian assange loves women. but what exactly is it that these women love? if you have a clue, i'd love to hear your take on it.

BB

drugs and other indoor sports

2010-12-23T11:53:00.000-08:00

once again i am hearing debate after debate over medical marijuana. legalize? decriminalize? legislate? tax? regulate?

i actually heard someone say this morning on the radio, "if you advocate legalizing marijuana, what do you want to do next? legalize heroin? cocaine? crack?" (yes, crack is a form of cocaine, but you're missing the point...) this is someone who is usually pretty on the ball and articulate. so what's with the knee jerk jerkiness? seriously? like if you get your wisdom teeth pulled why don't you get all of your teeth pulled? or if you have your appendix taken out why not just do a hysterectomy and a colostomy at the same time?

so, at this point in my self-righteous condemnation, i must confess that i too used to think legalizing marijuana was heretical. just to get it out there, i have never been high. like ever. no, i'm not a goody goody (ok, well kind of...) but i am just really uptight and controlling... anyway, i used to believe the popular image that people who smoked "pot" (why is it called that?) were all toked out idiots losing brain cells by the millions and floating through life being unproductive and seedy. my sister had several friends in high school who pretty much fit this description. and let's just say one makes assumptions about certain people one sees in the world who are performing -ummmm- not up to societal expectations???

then i got sick. really really sick. for a long long time. and because i am freakishly passionate about doing research (in spite of my blondness), i did a lot of reading about the medical uses of marijuana. it was interesting, but i was already on so many medications and was so unwilling and unable to fight the good fight, i just sort of filed away the info.

flash forward to more recent times. i still have a chronic illness, and when times are bad i look for solutions. i have found over the years that you need to be able to be your own advocate, and doctors are just as often unable as they are unwilling to think outside of the conventional box. so i have tried lots and lots of meds. a few hospital stays ago they sent me home on morphine (with a scrip to be filled every few weeks so i could stay on it...)yes, really. so when i was listening to the radio show this morning, someone called in and said, "how would you feel if the guy in the cubicle next to you was high on pot?" and i thought, "how would the people in line at the grocery store feel if they know i was on morphine? or vicodin? or oxycontin? or valium? or a boatload of other potent mind-messing drugs that i have actually been on over the years. yet i function normally (as normal as that is...) and when i have bad days i am in bed- not because i am stoned on drugs, but because my pain and nausea and other symptoms are so bad that even the strong drugs don't touch it. and i keep coming across books and articles from reputable places that say marijuana could help with every problem i have...

i asked a friend who is an oncologist his opinion on marijuana (i know several cancer patients who have smoked marijuana and also been prescribed maranol- synthetic THC- which is the supposed active ingredient in marijuana; they all say without hesitation that maranol just doesn't come close to actual marijuana.) he suggested some other drug combinations instead, but then admitted that if he has patients who are smoking pot and it is helping them, he would absolutely not tell them to stop. hmmmmmmmmmmm...

there seems to be good solid research out there backing up medical uses for marijuana. yes, it has potential for abuse, i guess (some things i've read disagree), but i will tell you for sure that about 95% of the medications i've been prescribed have potential for abuse and my doctor has decided the benefits outweigh the risks and has prescribed them for me anyway.

i don't want to recap the entire debate over medical marijuana, but i just wonder why this particular drug raises soooooooooooo much fright in so many people. yes, i know most of the conspiracy theories. but those things could be said of other drugs as well. so seriously, any theories on why marijuana has the power to terrorize otherwise sane people?

i still haven't gotten past my hang-ups enough to try marijuana, even though i am fairly sure it would probably help me. but i am seriously considering becoming more involved in the movement to legalize it. after all, why should irrationality trump good sense???

new reality shows

2010-12-14T11:13:00.000-08:00

ok- guilty pleasure confession: last night i watched a show called the sing-off. or sing along? or some deviation on that theme- it's several acapella groups competeing against each other for a relatively meager cash prize and probably fame and fortune.

first of all, i found it interesting that the cash was so little. i think they win $100,000.00- which is nothing to sneeze at, but after dividing it among all members of the group and after taxes literally would not even pay our grocery bills for the year. i was under the impression that other shows gave like, a million dollars for putting up with their nonsense.

second, i think one of the judges is literally stoned half out of her mind. she starts most of her appraisels with, "i agree with ___________________ "(whoever spoke just before her, regardless of who that is or what they said). several times she actually made a comment and then followed up with, "wait, did that happen?" or "wait, did you really do that?" all with a straight smile and a glazed expression that said she was one oxycontin short of a coma....one of the judges was in a boy band- i think in the 80s?- and although he can hit a few notes, he doesn't seem to have too much musical background- except that he clearly likes more black/gospel type sounds and clearly dislikes and is uninspired by anything that sounds too "white". the final judge actually writes music, so at least he has some grasp of musical composition, but he comes across as sooooooo nerdy and sooooooooo mellow that we jokingly predict he will say things like, "wow. that song reminds me of mayonaise..."

on the commercial breaks, we speculated on other game shows that might be popular with the ever lowered standards of the american viewing audience.

#1- america's got nerve. it's like america's got talent, except whoever gets voted off the show gets executed. this week, the loser will be electrocuted in front of a live stdio audience... next week, watch and see what happens with this length of piano wire...

#2- america's top martyr. a game show for muslims where whoever wins gets blown up and gets to meet his maker sooner than the rest. i figure it's a win-win situation. people get entertained, potential terrorists go to heaven, and nobody has to get hurt. i might even offer to flip the switch on that show...

#3- america's got no talent. c'mon- you know half the fun people have when they watch these competitions is to see the people with no talent who think they are "all that"- or at least who have enough gumption to go on TV to make fools of themselves. so, cut out the middle man and have a show just to showcase people who, we can all admit, entertain us by having no talent at all.

#4- america's got idiots. let's face it, a shockingly lot of people love to watch others doing foolish things. instead of elevating it, just show it for what is it- a bunch of idiots (often drunk???) who will do maniacal things just to get attention. oh, wait- they already made this and i think it's called jackass. but it's wildly popular, so go figure...

that's all i can remember for now, but feel free to submit your own ideas for consideration. you never know, a big talent scout might be an avid (albeit secret) reader of this blog...

gotta love this!!!

2010-11-29T16:52:00.000-08:00

barak obama throws rosa parks under the bus

2010-11-01T15:49:00.001-07:00

after the 97,000th time i have heard the same sound bites played, i decided to comment.

barak obama made a rousing speech, in part comparing democrats and republicnas to drivers of a car. he said things like (and i paraphrase here since i am too blond to look up the quote without losing this page): when you want to go forward, you put your car in D. if you put it in R it just takes you backward. now, my complete disdain for all things obama aside, i thought this was all pretty clever. and then he got to- if republicans want to come along with us, they can. they just can't drive- they have to ride IN THE BACK...

wait. inhale. did he just tell republicans to get to the back of the bus? did he just hint that we are second class citizens? in a world where pretty much everyone overreacts to everything, and even neutral statements are interpreted through the lense of oppressive racism, i have not heard one single person comment that obama's rhetoric here sounds eerily similar to old jim crow rearing up his ugly head. (by the way- for a GREAT book on northern migration of sharecroppers as a result of jim crow politics, read the warmth of other suns- wow!!)

anyway, we don't drive off the cliffs obama would like us to die on? got that. we go in a different direction. okay, that too. but we need to move to the back so the oligarchs can rule unobsrtucted? huh? what the heck is he thinking? is this nigerian/indonesian/banana republic politics or is the big 'o' being just a little too condescending for comfort?

for the record, this republican will drive, thank you very much. this R will drive, shoot, pray, and vote as many times as is allowed. because when it comes to unseating a power-hungry unhinged socialist like obama, i'm all about civil rights.

put that in your gas tank, dems.

BB

yes, juan williams

2010-10-25T08:14:00.000-07:00

hmmmm, from eye candy to free speech in one fell swoop...

NPR, bastion of freedom and protector of democracy, has fired someone for honesty. it's not the first time someone is fired or punished or banished or ridiculed or censured for saying the truth (as they see it), but coming from a leftee organization that 'may not agree with what i have to say, but will defend to the death my right to say it' (this was on the wall of the ACLU when i interned there...)it's kinda more glaringly hypocritical.

so, juan williams admitted that when he sees people in traditional muslim garb, it unsettles him. um, ok. let's put aside the fact that if you are wearing a floor length black cape dress and your face is completely covered (except for your eyes sometimes) you are creepy. even if you are a superhero coming to save the day, you are freaking me out. if you are a man in a similar dress (although your eyes are allowed to show, since you have a soul... gotta love that koran!) you are almost as freaky. now, the fact that your ankles may show is cool. the fact that you are not wearing a mask (at least not a synthetic one) in public is very welcoming and all. but if you could comfortably be holding a loaded AK47 under your dress and nobody would even notice a bump, that's a bit unsettling. especially if, being a committed member of the religion of peace, you are actually likely to be carrying said weapon, if not a shrapnel packed bomb belt. am i saying that all muslims are terrorists? potentially, yeah. but i don't work for NPR so i can be honest.

let's alternate the scenario. i am walking down the street, or in my local pub and in walks a bald white guy with blue eyes, a tight t-shirt, steel-toed doc marten boots, and swastika tattoos. he has the freedom to dress however he wants. he can express himself and identify himself however he chooses- but in this case, since he's proclaiming that he is -most likely- a neo nazi skinhead, i'm gonna get the heck out of dodge. why would i do such an offensive thing? maybe he is just an all around solid citizen going out to buy some chicken soup for his poor ailing grandma's sick kitten. maybe he is a cancer patient who works on a loading dock and just has some leftover tattoos from his days as a rebellious teenager. but why should i take that chance? he makes his choice and i make mine. no, my choice is not to kill someone's baby (that would make me bona fide 'pro choice', or at least a muslim terrorist), but my choice might be to preserve my own skin just in case he is who he looks like he is. i CHOOSE to err on the side of prudence.

another option. i am in a movie theater and a teenager walks in with his pants around his ankles (ok, not that far down). his cap is pulled so far down over his face you can just about tell he is not a burn victim. he speaks in 4 letter words, but not in full sentences. his multiple layers of basketball jerseys, t-shirts, and sweatshirts are capped of with a down coat that might be appropriate for an expedition to the north pole, and you can tell he is showing off and posturing for all the young girls around. guess who i am not sitting next to in the movie? guess who i don't want standing between me and the nearest exit? might he be a member of a youth gang? might he possibly be carrying a weapon? perchance will he start a fight in said theater? all good questions. even though he may be a straight-A honors student who got a full scholarship to harvard med school, i'm not gonna go out on that limb. you know what is sadder than a victim? a potential victim who shoved caution aside to be more politically correct. if it's s a choice between my moral conscience and good old common sense, i'm gonna be the one walking out the door before things fall apart.

another example just for your entertainment (because i'm guessing by now you've got my point). you are in the mall (no, i am not really ever in a mall, but let's say for the sake of discussion...) and there is a 15-going-on-25 year old there. her skirt is so small you can see into her intestines when she moves even slightly forward. this will, of course be paired with 'i'm a sexually repressed catholic school girl, so come break me free!' knee socks. her shirt clearly came from the drawer of her toddler sister, except that it has some fleshy advertisement like "juicy" or bootylicious" across her burgeoning chest. she chews her gum in a way that suggests what else she might be willing to chew on, and if she was any more obvious about being on the prowl she would have to move to las vegas and get a license. is it possible that i will make incorrect assumptions about the moral character of this fine specimen? yep. could i make a convincing argument that she is just being 'trendy' and stylish? yep. does that change the fact that she chooses to look like she charges by the hour for her services? not at all. and to say any different would be either disingenuous or downright left-wing.

so, back to juan williams. he is a journalist, but he is a human being. he is blessed with all of his 5 senses in working order, and he has the courage to say the truth on top of it. he admits to being a little skeeved out when people dress like terrorists. does that mean they are terrorists? no. does that mean they want to be terrorists? obviously not. they are not even dressing like that because they like the style- they wear what they wear out of religious conviction. the same religious conviction held by the same religious fanatics who blow up babies so they can cohabitate with virgins in the afterlife. their fashion statement just happens to coincide with the fashion statements of those who believe it is their moral obligation to murder other people. hmmmmmmmmm. kind of gives you pause, huh?

so juan williams said what most of us (who are not purposely brain dead) also think. and he said it out loud. and he works for NPR. or he worked for NPR. so, what's his crime again?

please someone reconcile for me being pro free everything but firing juan williams. just try- i am really listening...

res ipsa loquitur

2010-10-09T19:32:00.001-07:00

fisher price doesn't hurt kids; kids hurt kids

2010-10-02T19:42:00.000-07:00

so fisher price is recalling 87 hundred thousand million gajillion toys because of safety concerns. as a mom, this piqued my concern, so i figured i'd better pay close attention to the toys being recalled and the circumstances surrounding such a massive recall.

and here's where we get all 2010: the toys are being pulled because kids playing on them could get hurt. huh? can't kids playing on pretty much anything get hurt? don't kids get hurt fairly regularly even without toys? not that i advocate being a neglectful parent, but i think kids getting hurt is part and parcel of being a kid. i remember scrapes and cuts and gashes and bruises and that is without any more than a bicycle, a swingset, and some grass. my own kids, no matter how much i hover, stubbornly insist on falling down, tipping over, and tripping on patterns in carpeting. although we've managed to avoid stitches (hurray for crazy glue!), we've seen other (equally careful) families whose children sport black eyes, busted lips, and nearly broken noses. one of my daughters has a scar through her eyebrow from a plastic bucket like you put sand in at the beach. one of my sons has a large silvery purple badge of honor on his leg from a broken mason jar that was inside a bag of garbage he was carrying out to the trash cans.

so, what's my point? why would fisher price be coerced into a major recall because kids are kids??? i know that parents are overly paranoid about every little thing these days. women have been driven so far away from their natural instincts that they now obsess over everything from BPA in water bottles to chemicals in flame retardant pajamas to kids needing full safety gear to so much as break a sweat.

which reminds me- the other day my daughter was riding her new roller skates. actually, she was kind of clomping her feet in big ungainly steps in the kind of toddler roller skates that clamp on over shooes and have four wheels for stability and an automatic brake preventing the wheels from going backward. so a well meaning friend says to me, "um, don't you think she should be wearing a helmet?" and i told her my helmet rule: unless the child can move faster on a toy than she could walk unassisted i really don't think she needs a helmet. so, this friend was inappropriately horrified, which i always chalk up to being way too brainwashed by the wrong people. seriously, should your child wear a helmet if he wants to play tag? or if he is riding a bigwheel? i'm thinking it is more important to concentrate on balance and have better awareness of what is going on in their peripheral vision. i would rather have them see and hear a car that is pulling into a neighbor's driveway that have their heads ensconsed in a foamy dome in case of violent ejection from a tricycle.

but back to the recall. what ever happened to kids being kids? what ever happened to adults using reasonable caution in choosing age-appropriate toys for their own children and just accepting that sometimes, accidents happen. even with all of our good intentions and all the baby-proofing in the universe, sometimes kids will just get hurt. that's why accidents are not called deliberates. sometimes, stuff happens and it's not really anyone's fault. even a super rich toy company which we should apparently all hate on principal because their toys are-gasp- engaging -and they don't give them away to starving AIDS infested orphan kids in subsaharan africa.

or do they???

blogblond gets smarter. or not.

2010-09-29T11:26:00.000-07:00

so i just finished reading a book which i am dying to brag that i read. it is called 'a curable romantic' by joseph skibell.

this book slips casually from english into french, german, hebrew, yiddish, and esperanto. the french and german are fairly easy, the hebrew is mostly translated, the yiddish is translated sometimes, and the esperanto is mostly decipherable if you have a background in romance languages and latin.

oddly enough, the most difficult language for me in this book was the english. now, all kidding aside, i am not an intellectual slouch. in spite of my uncorrected typos on this blog, and in spite of my blond relationship to all things technical, i am a fairly proficient speaker of english. i would say that i am, in fact, mostly fluent. however, this book required me to sit with a dictionary by my side- 6 words in the first 8 pages alone!- and i can't exactly figure out who could read this book otherwise. i was tempted to take the easy road and just guess at the words from their contexts, but i figured 'in for a penny, in for a pound'- or really, if i was going to spend the time to read this massive novel (two words that don't usually bode well when used together) i would do it "properly" (yes, i am married to a brit...)

the plot was surprisingly good, although by the third section i was losing my zest. the ending (page 593) was sort of weird, but overall it was a good read and a worthwhile use of time. the problem is, i can't figure out who in the world i can recommend this book to. who but an overindulged jewish intellectual (hello, joseph skibell) flits in and out of languages so casually? who will have enough familialrity with the hebrew alphabet to read both the hebrew and the yiddish, but be worldly enough to hang in there through the french, german, and esperanto? as the plot drags into the third section, it helps immensely to have a familiarity with jewish shtetl/ghetto culture.

oh, as an aside, i had a native yiddish speaker translate the dedication for me (yeah, red flag #1 is when you can't even understand the stuff leading up to chapter 1...) and it made even less sense in english than in yiddish. so, in some ways it's that kind of book.

so, i am bragging and throwing down a gauntlet- read this book, if you dare. belong to the elite blogblond reading circle. intimidate friends and influence people. or at least carry it around with you and astound those who try to read it after you.

happy translating! -BB

more obama, same old nonsense

2010-09-28T08:48:00.000-07:00

news has it that our illustrious president has come up with a way to catch our lagging students up with pretty much everyone in the world. he has put forth a suggestion to lengthen the school year, as if longer is better when it comes to education.

as if more of a bad thing is good. as if substandard times substandard equals substantive. as if spending more time, mopre money, and more resources has paid any dividends thus far in public education.

in fact, public education may be the only industry that makes more money the more it fails.

how about this: try teaching kids instead of wasting precious time and squandering scarce resources trying to indoctrinate them into political correctness. imagine how much more math kids could learn if they didn't have to learn not to subtract because it hurts people's feelings. i wonder how much more reading kids could do if they didn't have to attend assemblies on embracing bobby's 3 daddies. could teachers have more time to plan exciting and engaging lessons if every word did not have to be censored in fear of Offending some protected class?

how about this: make education about education instead of indoctrination. or at least avoid momentary/transient fads like sex ed for kindergardeners and ethical relativism for middle schoolers. maybe we should put more emphasis on actually using the hours that children are already held captive by mostly boring and ineffective teachers (who can often be hamstringed into being boring and ineffective by having to teach to the mid level of mediocrity instead of being encouraged to be innovative and inspiring). maybe we should figure out why our system isn't working, rather than assuming that we just don't do enough of this poor tecahing...

if a company turned out substandard widgets, would the CFO propose that they should just make more? if a family has their children taken away by social services for neglect and abandonement should they just have more kids so they can do better? will they beat the odds that way? if i am burning batch after batch of cookies should i just keep putting more in the oven, or cook them longer??? perhaps i should adjust the temperature of the oven or check the recipe to find out that i forgot the margarine...

the point is that public education needs to be re-evaluated and re-designed, not just lengthened and dragged out.

but what do i know? i'm just a right wing wacko.

and, by the way, i homeschool.

of bitches and other linguistic conundrums

2010-09-15T05:07:00.000-07:00

so i was thinking last night about the word "bitch". we all know that a bitch is a female dog (and possibly other animal varitites?), but we also know how it is used. so here is my question:

female dogs are submissive to males. when a bigger or stronger or more alpha dog comes along, the female will flop onto her back and expose her belly for petting or ripping apart. when they mate, the female is practically getting raped, and she just kind of stands there and takes it while the boy dog (with no nasty nickname) runs his agenda on her. a mother dog will nurse her puppies and try to protect them, but if someone higher on the totem pole walks over, she will even let them take away her babies.

so why is a powerful or assertive or aggressive or pushy or strong woman a bitch? why is a woman who walks into a boardroom and commands respect a bitch? why is that bad driver a bitch? why is someone who screws people over a bitch? i'm not commenting on whether or not these people deserve our scorn or deserve to be cursed out, i am just wondering why they are labeled as something that is almost the complete opposite of their behaviour.

it's not like it's said in sarcasm, the way you tell an idiot that he is sooooooooo smart. it's not said condescendingly, like you are taking them down a notch by slyly calling them weak and ineffective. no- the word "bitch" is used as the ultimate condemnation of all things ugly. and it's not even accurate.

so what's up with that? other swear words pretty much fit. i'm not gonna go through a list, but they usuallly prettty accurately describe the situation. bitch just doesn't seem to fit.

any insights into this bastardization of language, or am i just being a bitch?

burn baby, burn

2010-09-08T10:05:00.000-07:00

so, rather predictably, some guy wants to have a public service to commemorate 9/11 where he will burn the koran. i don't know the particulars, and don't have time to research it, but i'll give you some general thoughts on the general idea.

so what?????????????

the military is afraid that this "aggressive" act will spark more violence against our troops in the middle east. i'm sorry, but don't you guys have, like, WEAPONS??? aren't you guys trained to, um, kick some ass??? is american military policy now to cower at the strong feelings of our enemies??? obviously working hard to not offend the peace loving muslims has worked really well up until now. there have only been about 85 trillion IED attacks on our troops when someone in america DIDN'T burn the koran. hmmmmmmmmmmmm...

on another front, this act (the koran burning) is apparently a huge assault on the first amendment. has anyone saying this actually read the first amendment? because is it pretty clear (not blurry like the 2nd amendment obviously is...) that the first amemndment- actually the entire bill of rights- restricts the powers of the government against the people. it protects the citizens of the US from government abuses of certain 'fundamental' rights. so, whose rights is the government trampling on when a private citizen burns a private copy of the stupid- oops, i mean holy- koran? for that matter, why do those in favor of building a victory monument- oops, i mean an islamic cultural center- on ground zero also invoke the first amendment? whose free speech is being restricted? the muslims who are allowed to build untold numbers of mosques all over our country? the friendly brotherly loving folks who will skin you alive and cut your throat while they chant allah hoo akbar into a camera lense? has anyone heard the quote that all it takes for evil to prevail is for good people to satnd by and do nothing???

being americans, we of course take it to the next level of stupidity. it is not enough to allow them to do their own thing- we have to facilitate it, sanction it, bless it, and wish it well. can we sharpen your sword for you? pack shrapnel into your bomb belt? lick your feet clean while you slowly but surely try to turn american freedoms against us? perhaps the US governenment should put american flags and bibles into our foreign aid budget so the islamic nuts will have something to burn while they eat our food and use our medicine. wouldn't want them to be bored, because then they might turn violent. and how un-muslim would that be???

i am so done with those who will stand on the backs of the fallen to be first in line to kiss the asses of our enemies. unfortunatlely, it seems that they are only just beginning...

gotta go burn my koran- BB

blog-baby grows up

2010-09-02T07:53:00.000-07:00

here's a cute story about the child formerly known as blogbaby:

she is now 5 and started school yesterday. the teacher was talking about different letters and how each one makes a sound. she took a foam letter shape and asked it, "what sound do you make?" she pretended to listen and the letter didn't tell her. so she explained to the letter that she wanted to teach the children about letter sounds, so would the letter please tell the class what sound it makes. my daughter raised her hand and asked, "have you considered that the letter is not answering you because really it is just piece of foam?"

gotta love that kid. good luck to her teachers! seriously, though, they loved it, and it makes a great welcome back blog post! -BB

blogblond rides again!

2010-09-02T07:51:00.000-07:00

hey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! after getting locked out of my blog and trying repeatedly to break in, i finally did it!! it was shockingly easy (go ahead and try it!), but now i can post again. looking forward to reconnecting with my many many fans (hahahaha). see you in the blogasphere! -BB

De-Sensitivity Training

2007-01-08T07:25:00.000-08:00

our favourite terrorist support group, CAIR, is applauding a move by the TSA to require sensitivity training for its workers concerning muslim travelers making their haj to mecca. apparently the TSA has decided to pacify the potential terrorists and those who love them by spending money that will come out of our pockets in order to teach the airport screeners how to be more sensitive and aware that these religious pilgrims may be praying (an airport activity formerly reserved for terrorists-to-be), and carrying "certain objects". can't imagine what these objects may be, but clearly they require an extra measure of sensitivity on the part of the already maxed out and hands-tied airport workers.

how about this: if it's banned, they can't have it. seems pretty straightforward. if a 95 year old irish catholic nun can't bring a bottle of water on a flight to take her heart medication because these muslim psychopaths have tried to blow up their babies on planes, they probably shouldn't get water either. do they have special ceremonial box cutters that will be allowed? religious AK-47s which will be permitted during the haj?

how about we just have all-muslim flights flown by all-muslim crews and escorted by armed bombers and they can take whatever the heck they want into paradise and the friendly skies...

anyway, here's the real point. all of this "sensitivity training" only serves to DEsensitize everyone who should be one their toes around potential terrorists. from the test case of the flying imams to this new curriculum, the folks at CAIR and in hezbollah and hamas and al-quaeda want everyone to get so accustomed to muslims acting like freaky nutty potential terrorists that when they want to launch the real thing, we will all be immune to it. long flowing robed concealing heaven knows what will just be another style of dress- don't bother searching them. open conversations about how americans deserve to die will be just another conversation choice in airport bars. apparently muslims can sit in non-assigned seats, collect seat belt extenders, carry on banned items, and do pretty much whatever the heck they want, and we should embrace this all in the name of religious diversity and tolerance. the more we "learn' about them, the more we become anesthetized to their non-acceptable ways, and the less anyone will be alarmed by them when the time comes.

i am alarmed by the lack of alarm. whats it gonna take for people to wake up and smell the buring jet fuel?

'Twas The Morning Of Monday...

2006-12-11T05:14:00.000-08:00

...and all through the house, not a creature was stirring- except blogbrit.

i was laying in my bed with the baby and the girl cat (poe). we were petting the cat, and she was purring, and it was a currier and ives moment- and then we heard the plunk plunk plunk of cold blogbrit feet thunking across the floor. he got out of his nice warm bed, crawled out from under his soft snuggly quilt, walked across the room, picked up the formerly comfortable cat, and tossed her into the hallway.

i waited for the punchline, but when none was forthcoming after a reasonable wait, i asked him, "why did you do that?"

his response: "she sounds like a barge."

he then made some unintelligible noise that i have never heard eminate from man nor beast, i assume in a somewhat misguided attempt to illustrate such a noise, crawled back into bed, and went to sleep.

so now i'm curious- in 50 words or less, can you describe what a barge actually sounds like? and if a barge purrs in an empty forest, will it still wake up the blogbrit?

Welcome Soulmate Junior!!!!!

2006-12-11T05:10:00.000-08:00

just wanted to let you all know that the world got a little better today with the birth of anysara and soulmate's first yummy baby!!!

soulmate jr. was 9lbs 8oz- way to go anysara!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hard to tell who he looks like yet, but everyone is fine, and this blogblond could not be a prouder aunt!!!!!!!!

Jimma Carter Drinks The Koolaid, Smokes The Crack, and Loses What's Left Of HIs Small Small Mind

2006-12-10T11:27:00.000-08:00

so, notorious peace, love, and habitat for humanity saint jimma carter has once again thrust his pathetic self into the spotlight. i can only hope that he has some type of serious degenerative dementia, or possibly a gigantic brain tumor, and that is the reason for his complete and total lack of any rational thought.

i heard him read an excerpt from his book mein kampf- oops, no, it is actually called something like "why the jews are satan's spawn and the arabs are completely righteous in every way". i think the prologue is about why it is taking so darn long to push those stinkin' jews into the sea already, and it pretty much goes downhill from there.

he defends his choice of calling isreal palestine- clearly his brain has not yet embraced the sad fact thet it is not 1947- because really the israelis/jews/zionists are on the palestinian land in that part of the world. that's why they are blowing each other and everyone else up all over the globe every chance they get- because the jews are trespassing on arab land in the middle east.

and just when you think it couldn't get any more trainwrecky -or ignorant- he compares the jewish state to south africa during apartheid. the small minority abusing the majority, etc. i guess if he consideres the whole middle east arab territory, then the jews would indeed be a minority. never mind all historical fact about israel winning territory in defensive wars which the arabs started- and which has been given away for nothing except meaningless world opinion (which has not gotten any more favorable for the jews since they gave up a good measure of their security to pacify the ignorant masses...). never mind that the jews treat the arabs in israel better than the surrounding arab countires treat their own citizens. forget that, in every measure of a civilized society- from environmentalism to women's rights to democracy- israel is by far the best developed place in the region. put aside that the arabs who still choose to live in refugee camps do so of their own volition and because of the using of them by their holy arab brethren. forget all fact, all history, and all common sense, and then you may actually agree with a single sentence in jimma's book.

can't wait until he receives the nobel peace prize for his work in bringing people together.

zig heil.

The Fine Line Between Empathy And Contempt

2006-12-08T10:00:00.000-08:00

as teenagers, many kids laugh at the misfortune of others. whether it's the homeless guy on the street, or that geeky kid with the pocket protecter who brings his lunch in a bill nye lunch box, their reaction to the discomfort of the situation is to laugh. it's very self-protective to snicker at the outsider, lest you may yourself become one. it's much easier to join in the laughter over someone being teased than to stand up to the mob and possibly become the next target.

usually as people get older, they develop a tougher shell. it's not so much that they develop empathy; rather, they become okay enough in their own skin to let their emapthy come out. they become less involved with what the perception of themselves will be, and more concerned with how to lessen the inherent discomfort of any given situation for all concerned.

but it seems like today, people are just failing to grow up. the kids are getting nastier and meaner, and the adults are staying those same self-centered, self-involved, self-protective brats. watch any court TV show, listen to any call-in radio, observe much of the behaviour that people are, shockingly, not embarassed to display on the street. listen to the rude mouthy person on their cell phone in a public place, not caring about what is overheard, actually thinking they sound cool when they curse and talk about inappropriate things in front of my kids. watch the jerk in traffic who not only cuts people off, but then gestures angrily and yells at other drivers who dare to be on the road. check out any small claims court docket and witness the shear number of folks who want to profit from what we would have called in the old days, a simple mistake from an innocent person. what the heck is up with people?

everyone thinks they deserve everything. everyone feels entitled to everything. usually, the amount of consideration any given person feels they deserve is inversley proportional to the amount of respect they are earning. that's the key to why this irritates me so much- it seems like the loudest, rudest, most obnoxious people are the ones who assume they should be served up the world on a golden plate. who taught these hellions that it's all about #1?

in an age when all the schools want to teach is environmenall terrorism instead of real terrorism, and global warming gloom and doom, and that every child should skip lunch and forego birthday presents to send money to aids victims in africa, it seems odd that society as a whole is getting meaner and more cut-throat. the more we try to sensitize and feminize society and tie the hands of our soldiers and emasculate anything strong and masculine, the more people seem to be coming up nasty and hostile and "all about me".

we are trying to breed empathy and compassion, but more and more people, from the scummiest ghettoes to the ritziest hollywood parties , are becoming non-emapthetic and anything but compassionate. scoiety is turning into a sick place where the meanest and cruelest and most expolitive win, and the rest of us just stand idly by, too cowed into fear to say or do anything.

when did growing up into empathy become wallowing in contempt?

Let's Talk About Katherine Moennig

2006-12-05T11:57:00.000-08:00

the burning question of the moment has to do with the "wow!' factor.

some women are pretty, like kate winslet or christie brinkley.

some women are beautiful, like halle berry. they are just so lovely that you want to stare and stare.

but some people just have that certain something that is above and beyond. they are so compelling, so spellbinding that you just can't look away. you are blown away by this mystical quality they exude- seemingly without trying. it is rarely the most objectively beautiful women who have this magic. the question is, what exactly is it?

i googled katherine moennig yesterday, like a teenage stalker fan hoping for a signed poster for her locker. considering that i wasn't actually like this when i was a teenager (okay, there was the billy idol thing...), it was kind of bizarre. but i just wanted to know about her. i just wanted to find out what makes her so above and beyond. and in spite of the fact that many of the pictures of her for sale on ebay are like soft core lesbian porn, the photos of her just standing around took my breath away.

so, i am wondering from all of you- what is it that some women just have? can you ever nail down something specific, or is it too ethereal?

Flora, Fauna, and Toxic Gasses-Vietnam or Your Digestive System?

2006-11-24T10:26:00.000-08:00

i actually have nothing to say on this topic, but i thought it was a really great title for a post. feel free to pass it on to your local gastroenterology blog...

Thanks, But No Thanks

2006-11-24T10:12:00.000-08:00

here in the blogblond household, we do not celebrate thanksgiving.

even before i became a religious fanatic, i thought it was sort of odd to celebrate how we took advantage of the indians. they helped the pilgrims to survive in the "new world", which was lucky becasue it gave the europeans the time and strength to regroup to begin to kill off the indians. the indians unfairly defended some of their homeland, while the pilgrims quite honorably called them savages and pushed them into ever-more undesirable land. they gave us corn and we gave them smallpox. all's fair in love and war, i guess...

fast forward to now, when we just don't bother with thanksgiving as a holiday, because it's not really part of our lives. for the bounty we have, we are thankful every day. we appreciate what we have, and it has nothing to do with turkey. we try to teach our children to be aware of the many gifts they are blessed with.

i have no problem with people who do celebrate thanksgiving. even though only a small fraction of americans can actually say that it was their ancestors who survived until that first harvest, i am happy that at least a few times a year otherwise disconnected families will sit down to share a meal together. if the excuse for seeing long-distance relatives is thanksgiving, so be it.

what i don't get it people who act like you are committing a serious act of blasphemy by not celebrating thanksgiving. is it really that important to them that my family eats turkey? are they part of a vast cranberry sauce conspiracy? do they get extra points if i eat pumpkin pie? i am not preachy about thanksgiving. i don't volunteer that we don't celebrate it. my family actually eats together every single night, and several times a year we do get together with relatives for other reasons. so what's the deal?

what is offensive about saying thanks, but no thanks to thanksgiving?

The Official Blogblond Political Dictionary

2006-11-06T13:04:00.000-08:00

as you contemplate voting tomorrow, you may want to have the following translations in mind. i am, after all, a political science major...

pro-choice=i am trying to kiss up to the loony leftists
pro-life= i am trying to kiss up to the religious fanatics

i will lower your taxes= i will do whatever i want as soon as i get into office. if i lower your taxes at all, you can bet i'll do it by cutting exactly the services you personally need.
i will lower expenditures= i will do whatever i want as soon as i get into office. if i lower expenditures at all, you can bet i'll do it by cutting exactly the services you personally need. i may claim to want to eliminate inefficiency in government, but if you think i have any intention of alienating my cronies once i get into office, you need to get a few advance doses of methadone before i cut it off.

i support the troops= i don't want to tick off the rednecks
i support an immediate withdrawl of troops= i want to go out of my way to tick off the rednecks. after all, they don't make big campaign contributions. i prefer to cater to pansy-ass cut and run liberals with big checkbooks

tough on immigration= i'll do lots of showy but ineffective stuff to pretend i'm handling it
tough on crime= i'll do lots of showy but ineffective stuff to pretend i'm handling it

american technological supremecy= i plan to dump lots of money into the space program. i can't articulate any good reason why, but it impresses the intellectuals at NASA and the pseudo-intellectuals in the general population

against outsourcing of jobs= force american companies to hire underqualified lazy slackers to work for you for way more money than they deserve, because it makes the rich liberals feel like they're helping the poor

strengthen the economy= cook the books until nobody can understand what the heck is going on

help our seasoned citizens= cook the books until every old person is so confused by the multitude of programs for them- none of which actually help them in any way- that they will hopefully die of stress related complications and we will not have to continue paying out their social security and can use that money for more bombs- which we will never use

equality and fairness= i will use the most discriminatory policies possible to try to create a utopian society where every person gets way more than what they have actually earned (also, see affirmative action)

affirmative action= see above and add the following: through my policies, i will create a climate of racial hatred, the likes of which have never been seen in history. the backlash will mean a weaker workforce, weaker employee morale, less confidence in any professional who may (or may not) have been a recipient of affirmative actions, and an overall failed social experiment. but i will have a clear conscience

i care about the children= i think you are a sucker. any time i invoke children, i know my opponent has nowhere to go, thus ending all debate on any relevant issue. who doesn't love kids?

get out and vote/ rock the vote/ don't forget to vote/ vote or die= there are many manifestations of this phrase, but they all mean the same thing: really, i could care less what you do. i honestly believe that you are too stupid to vote anyway. if i trusted idiots like you to make decisions in government, i would be in favor of referendums on everything, and not endless political filibustering on every issue. actually, i wish you would be sent to iraq so you could get sniped on cnn, and then i could just do whatever i wanted. unless, of course, you are planning to vote for me...

anyway, i hope this has been helpful. i know politics are really complex, but i believe in you!

but unless you are voting exactly as i am, please stay home.

Missing The Point

2006-11-02T08:24:00.000-08:00

should muslim women wear veils in their photo IDs? should muslim cab drivers be able to refuse to drive people who have closed bottles of alcohol? should the koran be given special protected status under the law?

these and many other intriguing debate topics make nothing more clear than this one simple fact: the majority of people having these discussions are just plain missing the point.

the point is that in your home you are the king of your castle. if you want to wear a veil or a monkey suit, more power to you. if you abstain from alcohol or drink rat poison, bottoms up. if you have a special safe for your koran so no infidelous breath will ever degrade its cover, knock yourself out.

but don't go to mcdonald's for a veggie burger on sprouted bread.

huh?

here's the point: IF YOU WANT TO LIVE UNDER ISLAMIC CONDITIONS, LIVE IN AN ISLAMIC COUNTRY.

why is nobody saying that? it seems so obvious to me- if you want to wear a hijab or a chador or a burka go to iran or syria or saudi arabia and earn praise as a modest woman. but don't come to america- of your own free will- to take advantage of our freedoms and then demand we change our standards (however flawed) to meet yours. i hear they have no vices (in public, at least) in many muslim countries- so go live there.

lest you jump into defensive posture, rest assured that this is not a case of 'if you don't like it, leave.' rather, it's a case of, 'if you don't want it, don't come here in the first place.'

seems pretty simple to me. if you're a devout muslim and that is your main agenda, why would you leave a muslim country to come to a place of sin and depravity? nobody brought you here. nobody even wants you here, except maybe your cousin who needs more help at the gas station.

so just go away. i think it's win-win. you keep your shariah in your neck of the woods, and i'll keep the constitution.

what's so hard to understand?

SuperSex Me

2006-10-26T10:28:00.000-07:00

in a society obsessed with sex (you're reading this post, aren't you?), it's no wonder that sexuality is everywhere. from young girls dressing like mini prostitutes to video games with actual prostitutes, to songs about strippers and pimps, to safe sex debates in schools- and it is all supersized, so that the sexuality becomes the main thing. yeah, in the 50s (even the 1850s, where a little ankle went a long way) sex was used to sell cars and clothes, just like today. the difference was that the subtle sexuality of a voluptuous woman with red pouty lips standing next to the guy with the brand x cigarettes only implied that he'd get sex if he'd only light up. these days, when everything has to be bigger and more and right away, sex is also more 'in your face'.

so, what does this have to do with the price of chocolate in blogland?

for the 97 millionth time, i listened to people go around in intellectual circles and tie their brains in knots, debating gay marraige. it will ruin society. the government has no business legislating love. we have to favor procreative unions. consenting adults have rights concerning their private lives. the bible is against it. people who don't believe in the bible shouldn't have to follow it.

WHATEVER.

how about this: keep your private life private. love whomever you like. have sex however you want. live with anyone who makes you happy. just don't throw it in my face and tell me i have to endorse it.

don't talk to my husband at work about your gay lover-or your straight lover. don't teach my kids about your lesbian partner- or your hetero partner. don't make out in the streets, and in parades, and on "family TV" shows- with anyone of either sex. if people want to watch porn, let them rent it. i don't care if you're gay or straight- i don't want to see your public displays of affection, or your clingy 'but this is my life partner' moves, or your skin tight clothes, or your tattoos on your ass. have a little dignity. keep your private stuff private.

"but what about maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaariage?" you whine. do what you want in your inner sanctum. just leave my outer sanctum out of it. you want health insurance for your partner? legislate that. you want your partner to be your next of kin for medical stuff? give them power of attorney like i gave my husband. you want to make sure your partner gets custody of your test tube kid if you die? draw up the guardianship papers. or make a will. or lobby congress to recognize your relationship. but it won't be a marriage.

sorry, but that's just the sad fact.

you can serve meatloaf for supper and call it ice cream, but it's still meatloaf. you can run a red light and tell the cop, "oh, i respect an adult's right to choose what color they will stop for, and i choose purple." good luck with that. you can call a skunk a goldfish, but it still smells like a skunk and will drown in your fishbowl.

just separate the issues. you want me to accept your partner? i don't have to and you shouldn't care. i don't care where you stick your body parts, and you shouldn't care where i stick mine. have relationships or partnerships or 'friends with benefits' or whatever you want. just keep it to yourself, like a decent respectable person should, and if you have other legal concerns, then address them.

but don't call what you have a marriage and don't throw your sex in my face.

harf.

It's All About Blogbrit

2006-10-25T08:09:00.000-07:00

behind every good blogblond is a great blogbrit.

for about the first decade of our marriage, blogbrit stayed kind of in the background. i had a really cool job (principal of a girls' high school) and he worked various jobs he hated so we could pay the bills. i had babies and went to grad school, and he picked up the slack at home and kept all the balls in the air while i ran around running around. when i was spazzy, he was calm and soothing. when i was stressed, he was kind and patient. when i would rant and rage (me, really?), he would stay cool and talk me down. all in all, he was the perfect support staff. he was the perfect counterpoint for me.

within the last few years, this balance has changed. the blogbrit has come into his own in a big way. he has found his stride, and has become the superstar of the family. he's the kind of husband who makes single women want to get married.

these days, the brit has a job that he is really really good at. everyone at work knows it, and he is constantly getting recognition and awards. he has come out of his proper british reserved shell, and has developed intelligent opinions on everything from politics to the media to what we will buy at ikea. he has taken over as captain of the ship, and he is doing an awesome job.

he is still the solid one. he is still calmer, more rational, and more diplomatic than i am. he is still better with the kids, better with the guests, and better with juggling the multiple demands on his time with grace and patience and dignity. he is still the person in the world i can count on for anything- all of the time. he is the guy who will stand and deliver when everyone else just can't seem to get it together. he's the one who reminds me that when you think you can't, you just need to try harder. he's the chicken soup for my soul and the jam in my jelly roll.

oh, and did i mention he is totally hot, too?

no, it's not our anniversary. it's not his birthday, and he hasn't done anything out of the ordinary to make me think about him in the middle of the day. and i guess that's really the point, isn't it? that when you are lucky and fortunate and blessed enough to be married to someone who is as mind-blowingly incredible as blogbrit, every day is special and every moment you are apart, you wish you were together.

there's not really too much else to say, is there?

An Open Letter To Some Very Powerful And Strong Men

2006-10-11T07:47:00.000-07:00

dear kim jong il,

i just wanted to say that i am a big fan. i really think you are everything that mere mortals should aspire to be. that's why it shocked me so much that the wackjob in iran insulted your mother.
yeah, i couldn't believe it either. i told him to stop, because you are so strong and powerful, and clearly wouldn't stand for such nonsense. but he just kept going on- about how fat she is, and how ugly- you know, all the classic lines. but when he started talking publicly about the deviant sexual acts they committed together, that was just too much. you know i hate to spread gossip, but i thought you would want to know.
anyway, i hope this doesn't change the way you feel about him. you know, now that you have nuclear weapons, you are so much more shockingly powerful than he is that you could easily crush him. so i hope you will be the benevolent ruler you have always been and take that into consideration when he posts the snuff film of your sister on you-tube.
looking forward to reading your next press releases.
-blogblond

dear ich bin a wackjob,
first off, let me apologize for getting your name wrong here. all of those north korean pundits who can't show your holy persian name the proper respect by pronouncing it correctly have made me confused. i am trying not be be led astray by them, but i fear they are gaining influence over weak minds like mine.
anyway, the reason i am writing to you, even though i know how busy you are, is this: i heard that kim jong il is planning to totally humiliate you in public. he says your suicide martyrs are no match for his advanced nuclear weapons, and he is planning to use this information to make you look foolish in the eyes of the world. he just about dared you to try to ruin his infrastructure and assasinate him with your "muslim hooligans". yep, he really said that. i thought that was it. he couldn't possibly be taking this whole thing personlally,, but then he started making fun of some of your wives. he was saying they are trashy, and that next week the north korean enquirer will be publishing photos of them with their wrists and noses showing. i know you would never tolerate a scandal like this in your household, and i am sure your wives are way too holy to have behaved so provacatively in front of the media- and that's when he let slip that he was planning to doctor the photos. i guess he went online and googled "islamic porn" and got these photos of loose women showing almost their whole hands and the noses all the way back to where they touch the face. it is so revolting i can barely bring myself to speak of it, but he is planning to have his tech guys cut and paste your wives' faces onto these western-style whores.
he said you are too weak and too afraid to retaliate, especially now that he has this supposed nuclear weapon (you don't really believe he has that, do you?). i told him that you are an honorable man, and that you would not let such a slight go unpunished, and he actually laughed at me. yep, he out and out guffawed. like, yeah, right- that wack job will never have the courage or the strength to try to hurt me or my regime.
i hope you will prove him wrong, and not let your fans be disappointed. even if others lose faith in you, i will still believe.
with all due respect,
blogblond

Yes, I'm Gonna Talk About The Amish Thing

2006-10-03T10:17:00.000-07:00

i wish i had anysara's eloquence of self-expression right now, and i could send off a string of exactly appropraote expletives to sum up how i feel about a person who would kill amish people.

short of that, i will just talk about one aspect of this sick incident that i have not heard mentioned yet.

all the amish want from us is to be left alone. all they want is to practice their religion and live out their lives according to their beliefs. all they want is to be free of the sickness of our society and pursue their kingdom of heaven. and the result of this shooting will be the biggest travesty of all. because when all the smoke clears, the amish will be victimized over and over again by our inquisitiveness and our desire to "help".

it's bad enough that they were victimized simply because they were "easy targets". it's more horrible that the news media is airing statements from the killers family about what a great husband and father he was, and how he never refused to help with changing diapers. what the HELL is that? it's not like he will have a trial and the public needs to be made sympathetic to him. but his family's first impulse was CYA and the media actually helped them...

what is worse than worse is that the amish are now a media circus. the amish, who only want privacy and decency, are being expolited again and again and again because of our desire for "news". if you are going to say the public has a right to know, save it. there is plenty of stuff out there that is way more relevant to our lives than dead amish children, and we never hear a whisper of it. to compound this laqck of privacy, i'm sure it is only a matter of time until some do-gooder (with good intentions, i assure you) will make some commercialized nonsense memorial for the girls. these cutesy tributes of balloons and stuffed animals and hand-scrawled cards are gaggish even in mainstream society; i can't even imagine them being imposed on the amish. yes, sometimes victims' families find comfort in this "shared" mourning. but the amish are not us. they have their own ways and their own comforts and their own everything. these memorials are erected by those who feel powerless in their own anger/grief/remorse/sadness/whatever and want to DO something.

well, i say do something else. leave the amish alone. leave the town and the hospital staff and the families alone.

if you really want to help the amish, work on our society. make this world a place where the amish separate themselves to elevate themselves and not to hide from us. make this a world where killers and their families don't get extra airtime and grief doesn't sell newspapers. make this world a place where justice is just and not just politically expedient or, worse, politically correct.

you want to honor the amish? stop worshipping yourself and learn to honor your Self.

If Scientific Thought Is The Pinnacle of Civilization, Why Is The Missing Link Still Missing?

2006-09-22T13:58:00.000-07:00

science has brought us some great stuff. granted, most of it has been by accident, but science does deserve some credit for making our world better and easier. i am a big fan of anti-biotics (when they are actually needed), anti-sceptics, and of course, nutri-sweet. a lot of science can't be explained, even by the scientists themselves. complexities like why aspirin actually works and why scientists will believe in anti-matter (which they can't see, but can observe the effects of) but not believe in God (which they cannot see, but can observe the effects of) continue to puzzle us all.

many people in western societies worship science. often, they display the same, if not greater, intensity of feeling than a supposed "bible thumper". the average public school-educated person will proudly tell you how the universe started with the big bang, how mankind came from monkeys (starting with single-celled creatures that eventually crawled out of the muck- yes, i know- i went to public school too) and that plants may have the same range of emotions as human beings, we just don't know it yet. sadly, almost to the person, not one of them can explain- with logic or even coherent sentences- any of these concepts. religious people are written off as mind-numbed robots blindly following some antiquated principles, letting others do their thinking for the. ironically, these very people, who cling to science as a lifeline to brilliance, are some of the most brainwashed zombies i have ever met. what makes it worse is that they wear the cloak of intellectual superiority, puffed up with pride about their extensive knowledge base, when in actual fact the dogma they adhere to is as intellectually bankrupt as any fringe-element cult.

case in point, the missing link. now, i hate to pick on old ML. he really never did anything to me. but i do remember the endless science units, year after year, shaping the young minds of me and my classmates, continually questing after this holy grail of science- the missing link. we learned about darwin the way christians learn about john the baptist. we studies his theories with the fervor of missionaries in the field. we watched the video made about the scopes monkey trail- inherit the wind?- and practically cheered for clarence darrow's eloquent defense of evolution (as opposed to backward creationism, espoused by that hateful william jennings bryant). we read article after article that backed up evolution- without ever hinting that there was another viable option. no "theory" of evolution. no this is one explanation of several. not, heaven forbid this is one version of the truth. not that this theory is as full of holes as the flat earth theory, but we just keep on teaching it because we can't seem to let it go. nope, we studied evolution.

okay, before you have a seizure, let me disclaim. no, i don't wish we'd studied the bible instead. yes, i've heard of separation of church and state, although i would postulate that my understanding of the concept is somewhat greater than yours. no, i don't think that equal time has to be given to every opinion on every subject.

that being said, i can't believe the textbooks STILL persist in "educating" students about evolution. when i was in school, the missing link was due to be found at any moment. although no links had actually been found to that point, and no one alive or in recorded history had actually seen or heard about any species morphing into any other (or even a higher order of itself), we and our earnest teachers believed with our hearts and minds that the missing link was out there, laying dormant for generations, just waiting to be found to put the last piece of the puzzle of darwinian evolution. well, young scientists, the missing link is still missing.

as a student in college, i learned about punctuated evolution. at least the was an attempt at intellectual honesty, although even punctuated evolution was little more than voodoo in terms of explaining the problems with the theory of evolution. really, there are no convincing ways to explain the development of complex structures like the eye in evolutionary terms. really, that could be okay if they were just honest about it. we think species evolved from single-celled organisms. we think there is survival of the fittest, in spite of the evidence to the contrary sitting in the seat next to you. we think that adaptive traits are procreated into the majority, while maladaptive or useless traits are bred out. okay, fine. but to teach scientific dogma, while at the same time belittling and invalidating religious dogma, and not even entertaining competing scientific theories, is just intellectually wrong, educationally unsound, and morally bankrupt.

so, if scientific thought is the pinnacle of civilization, why is the missing link still missing?

Non-Trivial Trivia and The Price Of Blogblond

2006-09-20T09:17:00.000-07:00

okay, the first and most important question- please answer if you know!!!

when McDonald's says howmanyever billion served, does that mean that number of burgers were served, or that number of customers served? seriously, this is driving me crazy...

also, what is the consensus on adding adserve to a blog? aside from the fact that it is a completely tacky commercialized way of selling out your "private" space, is it just knee-jerk agregious, or is it seriously offensive? if it is offensive, why? my first instinct would be to boycott any blog that has it- but on the other hand, the prospect of getting a check every month just because i have a few loyal friends willing to check my blog 9 times a day sounds rather convenient.

so, what do you think?

Pro-Choice On Demand

2006-09-19T07:23:00.000-07:00

latest update in the quest for free, easy, and available abortion on demand at all times for all people for any reason:

two parents are charged with kidnapping and other assorted offenses after kidnapping their 19 year-old daughter in an attempt to force her to have an abortion against her will. the girl- i guess actually woman (unlike the teenage or adolescent "women" with whom the abortion lobby is so obsessed ...)- was actually taken by force and had to escape at a rest stop and call police. it's not clear where her parents planned to take her, since one would hope that there are not too many doctors out there who would perform a medical procedure on a competent adult without her consent (actually completely against her will...). when the parents' car was searched, police found duct tape, cords, and other kidnapping paraphenalia.

i'm wondering how people who are clearly so pro-abortion could actually have had a child of their own...

i'm wondering where the choice is in this scenario, and why no abortion rights activists have come out and said what a clear bastardization of the "right to choose" this whole episode is.

i'm curious about whether or not the doctor who was going to perform this procedure has been tracked down and charged with criminal conspiracy.

but most of all, i am wondering what kind of "parents" would be so misguided about abortion and family and everything else under the sun that they could possibly convince themselves that they should murder their own grandchild in the interest of some higher goal.

and, as a corallary, what in the world could that higher goal have been?

Recipes For Mata Hari

2006-09-14T09:32:00.000-07:00

you asked for it, you got it. sorry guys, what follows doesn't actually tell you how to make mata hari- but these recipes might be good enough to get you your own woman of your dreams:

super easy chocolate mousse:
1-1/2 sticks margarine
3/4 cup cocoa
1 cup sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
4 eggs

beat together for 20 minutes. freeze. (don't skimp on the full 20 minutes...)
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amazing lemon mousse:
16 oz. dessert whip
12 oz marshmallow fluff
2 cans lemon pie filling (i have also used cherry, which is good, too)

whip the whip, fold in the fluff, mix in the pie filling. freeze. yum.

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chocolate heavenly pillow cookies (my dad named them- what can i say?- he says they taste like little chocoalte pillows from heaven- see for yourself...):

1-1/2 cups sugar
1/2 cup oil
1/2 cup cocoa
3 eggs
1-1/2 tsp vanilla
1-3/4 cups flour
1-1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
powdered (confectioner's) sugar

combine sugar and oil, then add cocoa, beating until well blended. beat in eggs and vanilla. add dry ingredients, mixing well.

cover dough and put in fridge until dough is firm- about 4-6 hours.

preheat oven to 350. grease cookie sheet (even if you use foil). roll dough into 1 inch balls, then roll balls in powdered sugar, and place a few inches apart on cookie sheet.

bake 11-13 minutes. (less time for more fudgy cookies, longer for firmer ones) cool slightly and remove from cookie sheets to cool the rest of the way. this recipe can be doubled (or tripled if your mixer is big enough) and the cookies freeze really well.

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hope that's enough to get you started. now go buy some board games, and you could be an official satellite outpost of the blogblond network. good luck and happy desserting!!!

F.O.B.

2006-09-06T05:59:00.000-07:00

friends of blogblond.

or friend of blogbrit, to be more specific.

this past weekend, we had a lovely visit with an old friend. he actually visited several weeks ago, too, and this past weekend we were lucky enough to have him back. we wish that josh could have been here to join the fun, but he was previously engaged, so our loss...

anyway, we just married off a blond/brit regular, who SHOCKINGLY does not have a blog. we'll call him eeyore, but only in the most affectionate way. he married a delightful girl from california and they now live here. so, we invited the old friend to come and celebrate with us.

let's call the friend j-deli (a pleasant compromise between a sort of ghettoed out street name, and a harmless nice jewish boy). j-deli is awesome. he is hilariously funny at all times. he shares blogbrit's passion for anything that can be grilled, and consequently they were able to do a midnight meat run/bbq fest that left them both smiling like high school girls in love. we played lots of scattergories (not telling who won) and even more trivial pursuit. luckily, i had rebel on my team for that, so i stood a fighting chance, but j-deli soundly trounced us more than once. oh, anysara, where art thou???

oh, and did i mention that j-deli is a recent and perpetual lurker on this blog?

some day, perhaps he will get up the nerve to say hello, but since we can't have the real thing, i told him i would blog about him.

we hope to be seeing him again in another few weeks. we are bribing him with salmon quiche and chocolate mousse (not together). he has not yet realized that he is dealing with a cookie whore...

in other news... nothing. so, hello j-deli. looking forwward to seeing you again soon. hello josh, who can read but not blog. hello k-hora, and anysara, and c. chammer, and !!!!sara!!!!. hello d, and dys, and MH and all of blogbrit's friends at work, who should be working instead of reading blogs. hello p-chick with too much personality, and hello rebel- maybe you'll have something exciting to blog about one of these days ;) hello to everyone, lurker and anonymous commenters alike. and for goodness sake, say hello to j-deli!!!

The Dumbacrats and Progressives Progressing Toward Nothing

2006-08-31T08:40:00.000-07:00

several weeks ago (on AM radio- go figure!) dennis prager (one of my favorie hosts) interviewed the owner/founder/CEO (whichever) of Air America Radio. on a side note, i laugh every time someone refers to it as Scare America Radio, since it's got all these slogan-quoting, sound-biting liberals wetting themselves over imminent threats like the melting of the polar ice caps and the extinction of native owls if we drill in alaska...

anyway, the only thing noteworthy or quoteworthy the AA guy said the entire interview was that he kept referring to the dems as dumb-a-crats. now, i'm sure he didn't actually mean to cast them in such a light. i'm sure it was just an accent or speech impediment or something, but it absolutely cracked me up. (i know, i obviously need more humour in my life...). he said lots of random things, mostly non-sequitors, but literally the only thing i remember clearly is the dumb-a-crats.

but, for the sake of actually having something to say in this post, i'm going to discuss the progessives. many seem to wear this moniker proudly, as if the sheer act of progressing is in and of itself utterly fabulous. yes, sometimes progress is great, like air conditioning and cars (unless you're a global warmingite) or antibiotics. but some progress, like that of the herd of lemmings progressing over a cliff, must only be characterized as underwhelming in the least, and downright dangerous if we want to be honest. some progress toward change, while others progress toward a recapturing of values, cherished, but lost. so, what's the inherent contradiction about progressives? they seem to value progress only in the direction of the dangerous or obscene. let me illustrate by a few examples:

while conservatives want parents to have school choice for their children, "progressives" want to keep everyone (especially the poor, who suffer inordinately for not having any viable educational options) lockied into a failing system of outdated public education.

while conservatives want to provide incentives and training for able-bodied welafre recipients to go to work, "progressives" want them to sit and rot on welfare, under some misguided and paternalistic notion of "helping" those less fortunate.

conservatives want to try new and innovative ways to help the truly needy (like funding church, or faith-based programs) while the "progressives" are so intimidated by the idea of anyone believeing in G-d that they would rather just let people stay on heroin or live in filth.

conservatives want justice for victims, while progressives want to let the most barabric and sick of society's criminals live out their lives on our tax money.

progressives want to do away with profiling (which used to just be called 'good police work') for terrorists, under the complete delusion that political correctness is more vital to a successful society than safety.

progressives push an agenda of belittling the institution of marriage, giving free reign for anyone to have sex with anyone and then abort the baby if you're unlucky enough to be fertile. progressives appear only to be in favor of death if it involves innocent babies or victims of crimes perpetrated by those "less fortunate" (oh, such pity we should have for them...)

progressives are all about progress. too bad they are progressing toward the destruction of society.

progressives have a heck of an agenda going. perhaps one day soon they'll speed up their progress towrad their own destruction. hopefully it'll be before they drag the rest of us down with them.

semper valor.

The 14 Best Books Ever (in no particular order)

2006-08-20T12:52:00.000-07:00

1. Albion's Seed
2. Angela's Ashes
3. Amish Society
4. The Man Who Tasted Shapes
5. The Turner Diaries
6. Never Again
7. Cold Zero
8. The American Heritage Dictionary
9. The Death and Life of Great American Cities
10. The Gale Encyclopedia of Medicine
11. Spice and Spirit
12. Anything by Paul Riser
14. Parenthood
15. Anything by Dr. William Sears
16. The Turner Diaries

Artestimonial To Idiocy

2006-08-17T12:05:00.000-07:00

yesterday i drove past a bridal boutique called 'brides by dementia'. i circled around in the parking lot to do a second drive-by, just to confirm. yep, either someone named her daughter dementia, or someone was trying to get a little too fancy on the naming of her store. either way- ugh...

last night on the news, i saw an interview with ron artest- some basketball guy who hit? attacked? jumped on? some guy who threw beer on him? at him? near him? near his friend? anyway, apparently he was sentenced to community service to undo the damage of his outburst. so, guess what the judge had him doing? talking to a group of kids. okay, that has good potential- a public apology in front of his smallest fans, warning them to stay on the right side of the law. but guess what this clown spoke about? how not sorry he was. how someone can call you names, but if they do anything more than that- hit, kick, throw- whatever- then you'd better retaliate. huh? is this our criminal justice system bankrolling a program where wayward sports heroes can corrupt what little chance there is of the next generation NOT getting in trouble with the law? is this vigilantaism on my dime? so this yahoo just kept going on and on about how he wasn't going to apologize. he wasn't going to characterize what he did as a mistake. he urged all the little kids to do the same- if someone 'steps up to you' you respond in kind. no 'just walk away'. no 'be the bigger man'. no 'i wish i had considered my actions before i acted like a big goon and jumped on some little geeky defenseless beer throwing suburban idiot.' so, what's up? is it not bad enough that our national "heroes" are decidedly unheroic? do we really need to actually put them in front of children to preach and glorify their idiocy?

maybe they should run a disclaimer before all sports matches. WARNING: the following people are good at throwing balls or chasing balls or running with balls. other than that, they are, by and large, weak-minded amoral thugs. enjoy their performance, but do not, under any circumstances, try to emulate their behaviour in real life"

or maybe the next sports season should be called the NBA by dementia.

Lies My Mother Told Me

2006-08-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

i have a book called 'lies my teacher told me", which details many of the historically inaccurate "facts" which history teachers persist in indoctrinating their students with. granted, many (maybe even most?) of these teachers have no idea that they are disseminating lies, since they are teaching what they were taught or what comes from textbooks, which are globally assumed to be Ultimate Truth.

on the radio today (surprise!) was an ad for an upcoming show about lies your mother told you. they were asking for things like 'if you go swimming after you eat, you will get a cramp and drown', but it got me thinking about the lies my mother told me for real. the kind that mess you up without you even realizing that your entire perspective on the world is just totally messed up. i get the outright lies. someone very near and dear to me comes from a background of liars. they equivocate, they color the truth, and when it suits their purpose, they just out and out lie. it's a cultural thing that i don't exactly get, but at least you know that if their lips are moving, you may be on the recieving end of a tall tale.

my mother had a great life. until it fell apart. for whatever reasons, which i will not share on this blog, her really put together life came undone. she went from glassy eyed suburban housewife to cynical raging bitch in the space of less than a year. what i didn't realize was how her constant simmering anger would cause me to have constant simmering anger, even though i was neither the aggreived party in her messes nor aware of the impact of her 'life lessons'.

now, as a mother myself, i really see that although you want to be a role model for your children, you are a person first. whatever you are dealing with is dealt with on the stage of your role in the family. even what you think is private is not, even what you think you are hiding you're not, and even what you think nobody notices, they do. you want to show your kids how to rise above adversity and how to soar over challenges, but really, they hear you crying through the bathroom door. they hear you on the phone with your friend when you're wispering and they're supposed to be sleeping. they hear your tone and see your eyes roll when that certain neighbor's name is mentioned and they internalize it.

but, rather than give a sermon about how we should all be good role models for our offspring, i'm gonna just write about one of the multitude of ways my mother messed me up. cuz it's my blog, and i can.

my mother hates men. no, she's not a feminist. no, she's not a lesbian. she has no political agenda, and she doesn't rant and rave about it. she just takes pot shots at them. she makes sarcastic comments about them. she sneers and jeers and informs her children (now grown) and her grandchildren (quite young and impressionable) that men juts totally suck. you can't depend on them. they lie. they cheat. they are selfish. you better get what you want from them and leave before they leave you. no man can be trusted even with your front door key, much less your heart. she tried her best to insulate us against the hurt she carried around. but really, she just made all of us have really low expectations about men. i guess we figured that if they were all equally bad, we might as well not look too hard to find someone who put up a nice facade. it would just fall away eventually anyway, to reveal the Man underneath. it made everything very straighforward and very clear.

until i met my husband.

my husband is awesome. he was not raised in a world where men leave. he was not raised believing that it was only a matter of time until someone messed you over. he was actually raised in a family that believes that they are incredible people and are entitled to all the good life has to offer. what revolutionary concepts.

you see, i was taught that the expectations reflect the realities. my husband showed me that the expectations shape the realities.

if you expect bad and assume bad, you attract bad. or you mess up the good because you are so convinced that it is or will be bad that you can't enjoy it. this is not some metaphysical woo-woo theory. it is a simple fact that if you go through life with white knuckles and your teeth clenched, you often end up with numb fingers and broken teeth.

so, should you look through rose colored glasses? should you believe in your deepest heart that if you wish it good it will be good? of course not. but neither can you live a full, rich, functioning life if you are locked behind layer upon layer of protective coating.

all i'm saying is that i'm only human. my mother was only human, as were her parents and their parents and everyone on back. we do the best with what we can with what we have, we play the cards we're dealt, and the rest is pretty much out of our control.

it's comfortable to dwell on this, but i prefer to try to make a conscious effort every day to rise above the lies my mother told me.

6 Million- Or Not. What's The Difference?

2006-08-08T10:25:00.000-07:00

thanks to melly mel gibson, we are once again revisiting the idea of holocaust deniers. whatever anti-semitic remarks he made (i still haven't heard exactly what he supposedly said, but that doesn't even matter), he has once again caused people to revisit his father's holocaust denials.

it seems that, of the golden holy issues which nobody can ever speak of, the primacy of having 6 million jews killed in the holocaust is the jewish untouchable issue. not that there is any serious scholarship to speak of concluding that the holocaust didn't happen at all. like 9/11, there are simply too many witnesses of too many events from disparate times, locations, backgrounds, and agendas to have totally made it up. that many random people just would not be complicit in such widescale fraud. that said, who cares if there were 6 million jews killed or 6,000 or even 6? it may lessen the impact on the jewish nation, but does it really lessen the horror or the implications for now?

yes, a man who can exterminate 6 million people has "accomplished" more than one who has killed a mere 6. but the implications for society are the same. a very compelling and persuasive man, who has a clearly laid out agenda for widescale murder and anihilation, was able to convince lots and lots of people that he had the right idea. that is scary any way you look at it.

usually, genocide is the result of some sort of vendetta. in africa, for example,the genocide of one tribe against another is the result of a loooooooooooooooong history of tit-for-tat and somewhat earned hatred. while no (or few?) rational people would support genocide as a means to end internecine conflict, it is at least somewhat understandable that the 'thorn in your side' would inspire you to want to get rid of it, once and for all.

but hitler's hatred of the jews wasn't like that. for all of the anti-semitism that has grown since hitler, and all of the anti-semitism that was around before him, nobody was actually personally affronted by the jews. some people justify their anti-jewish stance based on 'jewish control' of stuff. to me, that's kind of a chicken and egg argument- which came first, we'll never really know, so it's hard to sort out cause and effect. did people hate the jews because they imagined them in control of _________________________ (fill in the blank) or did people hate the jews and they needed a reason to hang it on other than, 'they just rub me the wrong way'? but hitler really made no such pretense. not with the jews, not with the gypsys, not with the homosexuals or catholics. hitler just spoke very persuasively about the inherent flaws of these people and persuaded hundreds of thousands of people that the world would be better off without them. and that is what is important.

what people need to focus on is the idea behind extermination of people. really at the end of the day, it doesn't make a bit of difference if hitler killed 6 million people or not. there is nothing holy about that number. to make that number somehow unassailable misses the whole point of what needs to be fought for. whether 6 million people were murdered or 3 million or 600, the point is that he had the will, the way, and the popular support. the point is that people need to quit apologizing for and softening and excusing the stance of manics like the guy in iran, or the leaders of hamas or hezbollah or al quaeda and wake up before it is too late. if we can't wrap our minds around the fact that some people have a completely different paradigm for viewing the world, it will be to our detriment. if we assume everyone to be 'good at heart' and simply misguided, we have sorley underestimated the potential for true evil in our midst. if we get so caught up in fighting for numbers and excuses that we forget to fight for principles and right, then we may as well start carving the headstones for the next 6 million.

just remember, next time it may not be the jews.

40 Violations And a 45- Have A Nice Day

2006-07-31T10:19:00.000-07:00

it has come to light that the "mentally ill" pakistani man who shot up the jewish center in seattle not only was overdue for a sentence on a conviction of indecent exposure, he was also stopped by the police about 30 minutes before his shooting spree for a traffic violation. no, i don't expect that the police should have noticed his state of mind, or any such nonsense. but i do kind of wish they had taken note of his 40 outstanding traffic violations and done SOMETHING with him. yes, i said 40 violations. i know people who have had to wait on the side of the road in the rain for a ride while their car was impounded and towed for, like, 2 outstanding tickets. so 40? wow.

oh, and by the way, he was somehow allowed to buy a 45 (handgun) too. for some reason this has reopened the gun debate- because clearly cracking down on mentally ill guys with criminal records will do anything to stop criminals from buying illegal weapons on the street. anyway, they are talking about tougher laws and stricter screening and longer waiting periods for those who want to purchase a handgun. what do i think?

i think if more of us law-abiding citizens had some law-enforcing guns, someone could have taken that guy down before he got off more than one shot. or stopped him before even the first shot was fired. i think, as i usually do in response to gun crimes by wackos against innocent people, that we should have more guns in the hands of competent individuals, not less.

want to stop crime in your neighborhood? give me a granny with a gun over an ACLU pacifist any day. want to make the criminals think twice? put a handgun in every diaper bag and a pistol in every make-up case. the new soccer mom needs an uzi in her SUV. that's justice the blogblond way.

Land For Pieces

2006-07-17T13:25:00.000-07:00

i have a new plan for israel, based on the informed and insightful callers i have heard on talk radio this past week. i think every time an arab lobs a missile into israel, the israelis should kill one israeli family and give their house to an arab terrorist.

why wait for world pressure to be brought to bear? just cut to the chase and speed up the destruction of the occupying oppressive regime that is the scourge of the middle east. just today, in fact, i heard a lebanese man in america railing about how lebanon is the only viable democracy in the region, and he is surprised that america does not recognize this and come to their aid to decimate israel. one pacifist suggested that, in the name of peace, israel should get out of arab land, and that would stop provoking the arabs into attacking innocent israeli civilians in non-military towns. when asked where they should start, he replied knowingly, "gaza". uh...ummm... think we've been there, done that, and the arabs don't seem happier to me.

every time the media talks about the "cycle of violence", implying that israel is an equal partner in the havoc that is the middle east, i think they should go to an israeli preschool and just gun down all the "future zionists". end the cycle sooner rather than later. perhaps their lunch money could be sent to the arab kids in camp learning how to be suicide bombers. buy them new soccer balls, or something.

for every discussion of what the israelis could do to further suck up to the arabs, there should be one building of jews plowed under so the arabs will have a nice flat surface to launch more rockets and missiles into israel. it is obvious that although the arabs have like 86 gazillion miles worth of land to occupy and do whatever they want on, that is not enough, and they clearly need the mile and a half or so that still belongs to israel. i say, give it to them. why deprive them of what they so passionately want and are so clearly entitled to?

let's just cut the b.s. about anyone caring about truth or fairness or righteousness in the world and declare a new deal: land for pieces. the more israelis they can blow up into little bits and shred with shrapnel and mutilate to death, the more land they will get.

after all, it's all israel's fault for existing in the first place.

Sweeten My Milk Or Go Jump

2006-06-21T18:39:00.000-07:00

in india there is a story about a certain group of people from another land. they wished to come and live in india, so they sent a message to the king, requesting his permission to come and settle there. the king sent a messenger with a full glass of milk, bearing the message that, like the glass, india was full to the top, and could not contain any more people. the leader of the tribe from afar sent the messenger back with an amount of sugar, which he poured into the milk, slowly stirring it as it dissolved and he could add more and more. with this, he sent the message that his tribe would not be like more milk, but rather like sugar, that sweetens the milk as it is absorbed.

great story, and very light-shedding about the immigration situation today. i am mainly referring here to muslims -mostly arab muslims- and not mexicans, so before you get your knickers in a knot, just pay attention.

america's charm was that it was a melting pot. not that every immigrant here would shed their vital selves to become part of the american non-culture, but rather that by sweetening america with their own contributions they could both be absorbed and enhance the society. the idea that people could come here seeking a better life meant that, by necessity, they would shed some of their customs and expectations, but that, on balance, it was still worth it to come here for the opportunities this country had to offer. where and when this all changed, i'm not sure. but it's turning into a train wreck.

i'm not saying that new immigrants can't have enclaves of culture from the 'mother country'. mexican town, china town, whatever- all are great in that they allow new immigrants a safe place to settle while they cautiously venture into american society and 'melt' into it. all are great in that they give mainstream americans a reference point to see and appreciate cultures that they otherwise might only learn about in social studies classes. all are great in that they give the children of immigrants an experience (albeit limited) of 'where my people came from'., fair enough.

but when immigrants come here and bring their ways and customs and expect america to cater to them and prop them up in their total lack of assimilation or appreciation for this society that took them in, they have gone too far. it's kind of like geting married, but expecting after the wedding to 'see other people'. or taking a job, but then still sleeping in every day until noon and going out to lunch for 2-1/2 hours. saying yes to one thing means saying no to something else. opening one door means closing another. people who come to america can reasonably expect every dignity and privledge extended to any other american. in return, they should reasonably expect to get with the program- or get out. don't bring your garbage here and then get on a soapbox about how people have to accept it. because actually, we don't.

if, for example, an american burns a flag in protest over whatever, that is iffy. if an immigrant comes here and burns our flag, i say don't let the door hit you on the way out of the country. sorry, but the boss's son can get away with a lot of nonsense in his father's company that the regular worker just can't pull. same here. if you come here, embrace it. if you don't like it, then decide if it's still better than where you came from. if it is, suck it up. if it isn't, then go the heck back.

if you plan to come here to abuse our systems and exploit our freedoms and spoil our milk, then you deserve every bad thing that anybody wishes on you and more.

that's my story and i'm stickin to it.

D-Files and D-Philes

2006-06-08T06:25:00.000-07:00

ever since my good friend d wrote about my blog on his, i have literally had hundreds of new hits on my blog. the thing is, these new "hitters" are of the lurking variety. i am always excited to see that new (or old!) people have visited the blog. but those who read and run are vaguely like a one night stand who doesn't even kiss you goodbye on the way out. you're left wondering, "was it me?" it's not that you expect closure, per se. more that you want the experience to have a beginning, a middle, and an end. like veni, vidi, vici. only in this case, it would be, "i came, i read, i commented".

i know there are people who view blogs like newspapers or magazines- you peruse them at your leisure and then toss them in the hamster cage. i want my blog to be more than that. i am not arrogant or narcisstic enough to belive that my ramblings here will light you on fire with profound new thoughts- at least not all the time :) i am totally not into blogs where there are 57 comments and every one of them is basically, "you are so right! i totally agree with you!" if my ego is going to be stroked, i want it to be earned, deserved, and meaningful. i'm older and happier and not into gratuitous flattery. but, say something. even once in a while.

i'm having a good laugh over the idea that the cookie whore post has received the most comments ever. which just goes to show, it's all about the edge...

and thanks, d

Confessions Of A Cookie Whore

2006-06-08T06:08:00.000-07:00

a few nights ago, someone did a big favor for me and blogbrit. the next day i did some baking and sent him over a platter of assorted cookies. he came over to thank us, which was really sweet.

the funny thing was, a few weeks earlier we had new couches delivered. the moving guys came in as i was taking chocolate chip cookies out of the oven. so, i gave them a bag of cookies to take with them. a friend who was there for both events asked me afterward, "so, exactly how many guys have you made cookies for?'

and i realized: i am a cookie whore.

there. i said it. i realized that when d came to town on business, my first thought was to bake him up a batch of oatmeal cookies and take them over. when josh seems a little off his game, i want to run to my mixer (yes, josh- i know you have never actually received any cookies...). after an engagement party we made for a close friend, i sent baked goods to most of my neighbors, and forced the last few guests to pile high plates for their families at home. the blogbrit is alternately amused and horrified by this barrage of baked goods. my teenager asked me to bake a batch of white chocolate chip cookies as a going away present for a friend, so i guess it's rubbing off on the kids...

the thing is, i am safe. i wash my hands before baking. i don't use nuts in my cookies (in case of allergies). i always package them up in plastic before giving. so, okay, i am a cookie whore.

there are worse things i could be.

Customer Service Is Not A Necessity

2006-06-04T18:55:00.000-07:00

an ad for a car dealership on the radio proudly proclaims, "customer service is our priority and not a necessity!".

i wrote this off the first 65,000,000 times i heard it, mainly due to the strong accent of the speaker- clearly he is from another country and was either mis-translating an idiom from his native country, or didn't grasp the subtelties of english. but then his daughter, a fluent english speaker of unaccented american english did a commercial for the dealership and happily rattled off the same phrase. not catchy, not compelling. not even so nice... i imagine they are trying to stress that they have customer service because it is a priority for them, and not just because they have to. at least that's the only credible explanation i've been able to come up with.

so, even though i am passionately uncompelled to ever go to that car dealership, i do think they inadvertently captured the spirit of customer service in many companies. it's just not a necessity.

i could rant and rave about having a 65 number selection menu that eats up my time (and sometimes my husband's cell phone minutes) and often doesn't offer the option i need. but i won't. i could whine about the automated voice on the other end of the line, that can "assist me with commonly asked questions", but never does. but i won't. i won't get started about the lengthy messages that give no information and end with a suggestion to visit their website for further reams of unhelpful information. but today i want to vent about foreign customer service reps.

first, a disclaimer. i have nothing against foreign people. i married one. i lived abroad and was one. i think accents are awesome and other cultures are cool (well, most of them, anyway). but if you don't understand american society, and learned our language from reading the cartons of chinese manufactured "american" toys, PLEASE do not take a job in customer service for american clientele.

when reading an obscenely long confirmation number to an asian (?) customer service rep, my friend had basically the following conversation:

friend: J
service rep: G?
f: no, J
sr: hay?
f: no, J- like jelly...
sr: ooooooooh- G?

friend: 2
sercive rep: the letter 2?

no, i didn't make that up.

someone else i know has the name roger, but he spells it R-O-D-G-E-R. the indian rep kept calling him rudd guh. no big deal, but he pronounced it for them like 80 times. c'mon- if you can't say the name, at least just say 'sir'. do something to cut your losses.

on a call-in radio show, the caller said that he repeatedly tried to decline a credit card offer from an overseas telemarketer. finally, when they wouldn't take no for an answer, he said, "okay, i will take your credit card. the only thing is, i will never pay for what i charge. i will never pay back any of the money i borrow. is that okay?" and the telemarketer, apparently being from a nation without credit cards, replied, "i am delighted to help you set up this account. please wait on the line while i get approval from my manager." politeness: 10. quick on the uptake: -2

being techologically illiterate, i am sympathetic to the idea of overseas tech support. maybe this is one of those jobs that americans can't do- like mowing theior own lawns. i even understand getting people with british or french accents to sell stuff to us. being married to a sexily accented brit myself, i see how americans will fall all over themselves to hear him speak. they also assume right away that he has like 6 PhDs from oxford. so that, i get. but this whole third world country customer non-service thing is wearing a litlle thin with me.

i know of a radio host who was so fed up with non-english understanding reps that he said he would buy a first class ticket, regardless of the price, on the first airline he called for reservations on that had a native english speaker answer the phone. i think he said it took him like 8 tries.

so, my question is, why are the companies we patronize just not that into us? are they trying to customer non-serve us into the arms of their competitors, or are they just that out of touch? do the CEOs ever actually call their own customer service lines, or do they do this on purpose so they can make a joke tape to play at company outings? do they record our calls so they can use them to train other reps on how to be polite to a fault, but completely non-responsive to their customers, or do we all just have the wrong phone numbers- the ones that go to customer servant pergatory- where those who have committed heinous customer service crimes are doomed to answer my calls about why my oven doesn't work unless i plug it in?

maybe i just need to call a different letter...

"Not Everybody Won"

2006-05-25T09:00:00.000-07:00

i do not watch american idol. i do not follow american idol. i don't really care about american idol. that said, i heard a really thought-provoking comment this morning on the radio in the batch of post-season-finale call-ins from american idol fans.

a man said that he liked to watch american idol with his kids because it shows them that, unlike in public schools, "not everybody won". wow. so, as much as i would like to take credit for all of my ideas on this blog, i have to give the credit for today to that dad...

his comment got me thinking about all of the sick, twisted ways that the tv viewing public enjoys seeing other people hurt, humiliated, devastated, and utterly beaten. although i don't watch, i know about shows like fear factor. a friend told me recently about a show called dog eat dog. i saw the millionaire show a few times where the lady says, "you are the weakest link. goodbye." i know about donald trump and martha stewart firing people in their quest to find new worker bees. i was unlucky enough to see an episode of america's top model- basically american idol with no singing, i guess. and i am aware of shows wher the whole fun is that you vote people off the island.

so, my question is, what's up with people that they find joy and entertainment value in other people's suffering? i thought it was just a symptom of society gone wrong in general, like the roman hedonists who liked to watch christians being fed to lions. anything for your pleasure...

but, i think this dad on the radio captured the essence. maybe people are so sick and tired of rigidly enforced feel-good policies that praise mediocrity while ignoring (or punishing) superiority, that maybe they are ready for some payback. the kid who gets sidelined on the soccer team so the slower, weaker, less dedicated kid can have a turn? he wants to see someone voted off the island. the mom who tries to teach her kids right and wrong and provide firm guidelines, only to have the school give condoms to 10 year olds and the neighbor down the block host a co-ed sleepover party for the class of 13 year olds? she needs that model to get taken down a few notches. the man who gets passed over for a promotion at work so an undeserving minority candidate can get shored up? yep, a little simon cowell will blow off some steam. maybe if people can't be competitiove in real life, they will live it vicariously through others. the politically correct climate is so super-charged with over-sensitivity that any speech unfavorable to leftist positions is classified as hate speech. rather than rewarding achievement, we strive valiantly toward total middle-of-the-road-ness, to avoid offending anyone.

so maybe american idol is the backlash. maybe if boys could play tackle football with other boys at recess, they would get the difference between some good, fair competition and rude, mean treatment of people on tv shows. maybe if women didn't have to take mens' jobs to show that they are just as good as men (?????) then the men wouldn't have to either turn into softy sissy feminine shadows of themselves or become over testosteroned porn freak victimizers. if women could actually be valued for nurturing and raising a family instead of being told that motherhood is weak and a cop-out from a 'real' career, and not a respectable role model for their daughters, maybe they wouldn't delight quite so much in driving SUVs and seeing the models falling on the runway.

maybe if society would let people grow up with normal boundaries of competitiveness, and normal ideas about winning and losing, maybe we wouldn't need american idol. maybe if society would play itself out instead of being micromanaged as a social experiment, we wouldn't need to watch people eat bugs. maybe when there is recognition that men and women are different, and boys and girls are different, and that people have different skills, talents, and abilities, and that becomes okay, maybe then we won't need to watch people getting voted off the island, or scheming against their 'friends' to be able to stay on it. or at least we wouldn't laugh at it.

Navel Gazing In An Empty Bucket

2006-05-16T16:02:00.000-07:00

i have come to the conclusion that americans- in fact all western mentalitied people- spend waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time in introspective self-analysis.

yes, yes, in olden days (the 80s?) people were way too busy for much introspection. they worked from sun up to sun down, no vacation days, no sick leave, yeah yeah yeah. that's not what i am talking about.

i think it is healthy to have some personal insights. i think it helps you understand who you are if you can integrate the personas of multiple layers of life experience into one coherent whole. i think people who don't bother to look a little deeper are often self-involved narcissists, or out and out sociopaths.

but i think this navel gazing has to stop. we, as a society, are overmediacted and under-accustomed to sucking it up on any level. we have such an exaggerated sense of self-importance that we really honestly believe that anyone on earth cares about us as much as we do. or the converse, that we are so horrible in the deepest darkest reaches of our hearts and minds that we should spend our whole lives being punished for that secret self that no one knows. that our impact on those around us has been so profound that we deserve to suffer, either consciously or unconsciously, and that the universe that revolves around us really does revolve around us.

you know what? get over it.

anyone who didn't get their needs met as a child (read: pretty much everyone alive, now or ever...) is an empty bucket. you will never ever be full, no matter how much you eat, or how many relationships you have, or how many awards you get, or how much money you earn, or how many people owe you a debt of gratitude. you will never fill that void that exists because your mother didn't pick you up fast enought when you cried when you were 5 months old, or your father was late to get you from school one day and you decided he forgot about you because he didn't love you enough.

you are scum if you think you are scum, whether you were abused catastrophically or treated like a princess who sometimes couldn't get her way.

you're trash if you think you are trash, and what you put out in the universe gets reflected back to you. you will never be good enough, or smart enough, or whatever enough, so why not celebrate your youness? it's the one thing in the world that nobody will ever be better at than you.

why is it only easy to believe the bad stuff?

you are an empty bucket with a gaping whole in the bottom that will never ever be full. you can spend your life sucking everyone dry, trying to fill it. you can keep pouring in everything and anything, desperately rolling the boulder up a hill and waiting for it to roll back down and crush you. you can whine and moan and beg and cajole and understand every trauma of your young lfe, or you can stop the noise and be quiet long enough to appreciate the journey.

savour your coffee, enjoy the smell of the rain, take a few extra minutes to hug someone you love to hug because you love it, stare at your favorite body part and say, 'damn, i look good!'. remember the feeling of really being loved, even if it ended in disaster. remember how it felt to have spending money and no bills, even if you were living at home with your parents who didn't understand you and drove you crazy. one time, just one time, buy the very very best, top of the line something, even if you don't need it. get shampoo that smells good. be around people who enjoy the moment, and you enjoy it too.

you can choose your journey. appreciate the path, even if it's strewn with shards of glass, and for goodness sake, GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE BUCKET!!!!!

You Know What They Say About Assuming...

2006-05-16T15:51:00.000-07:00

assume for a moment that i am not talking about you.

assume for a moment that if i had something to say about you, that i would say it directly, either on my blog, on yours, to your face, or all of the above.

assume for a moment that i am as wrapped up in myself as you are in yourself, and that i am actually blogging about an issue i was considering, rather than trying to take a stab at you.

assume for a moment that you actually do not know my entire circle of friends and acquaintances, and that maybe, just maybe, i am talking to or about someone you don't even know.

assume that it is not you who is ticking me off, and assume that if you post some whiny 'it's all about me' style comment that i will erase it and then actually blog about how stupid and whiny you are.

assume that it's not PMS.

assume that although you have issues, everyone has issues, and it really isn't always all about you. really.

assume that it's not only assuming that makes an ass out of u (but not me).

assume that the blogbrit is horrified by this post.

but you know what they say about assuming...

Whiners, Not Winners

2006-05-16T13:54:00.000-07:00

a loooooooong time ago, when i was a relatively new teacher, the powers that be came up with a really great way to deal with the teenage angst we encountered on a daily (hourly) (okay, minute by minute) basis. whenever we were faced with the inevitable, "but mrs. blooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooond, we have tooooooooooooooo muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch homewooooooooooooooooooooooooooork tonight. it's noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaair!" or, "is this on the teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeest? but it's soooooooo muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch. we can't dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!" we were supposed to flash a sign to the class. this sign has been carefully fonted, printed, embellished, and laminated for maximum effect.

it said, "we are winners, not whiners."

do i sound like i'm kidding? do you really think that is even funny to say as a joke? sadly, i am totally serious. was this effective? yeah, like as effective as hilary clinton would be in pursuading me that it takes a village to raise my children...

so, why am i pondering whining and winning? i am wondering what blogs would be like if there was no whining. or if blogs had ratings, like 1-5 tissues worth of snotty tears shed over how pathetic your life and blog are. maybe the rating could be 1-5 valium- how much the reader needs in order to get through your post, or how much the author should be on in order to just get a grip. they could use figures from the headlines- like, "my blog is like terry schiavo- brain dead, starving and dying- read at your own risk..." or "my blog is a donald trump- careless and self centered with a bad comb-over."

the question is, what would people talk about if they weren't throwing a pity party? and how many less people would read them?

but the real question is, how much better would they feel about themselves?

this blog has been rated a mike tyson- ear biting and illiterate, with no thought as to the consequences...

Just Say No

2006-05-13T19:42:00.000-07:00

i have a friend who has a list on the side of his blog- bloggers i know, bloggers i feel like i know, bloggers i should know, bloggers i wish i knew, etc etc etc.

in that vein, i propose a similar listing here. but i would put

bloggers who are on crack
bloggers who act like they're on crack
bloggers who should be on crack

any suggestions or nominees?

Playing Catch-Up In Blogland

2006-05-09T06:06:00.001-07:00

so, here's the long overdue blog about blogs. so many friends have now started blogs, and so many new bloggers have come across my radar, and so many blogs that i love (well, okay, only one or two) are not actualy linked on my blog. so, i decided that it is time to do a catch-up list of the good, the bad, and the blogly...

first, of course, is josh's blog. it's called why josh can't be left alone, and i am a total groupee. i don't know why i like it so much- except that in ways he reminds me of me, so it may be a simple narcissistc indulgence...- but anyway, i am a big fan, and i think everyone should check him out. oh, and his blog...

next is rebel without a clue. she has a fledgling blog, which she may even be able to link to mine, but she has a lot to say. i think that over time, as her blog grows and her thougths develop, she will amass quite a following, so you can be one of the first! she is definitely worth a read and a few words of encouragement for a newbie blogger.

an up-and-coming favorite is kaenahora. she is witty, insightful, edgy, and hilariously tongue-in-cheek. so far everything she has said has given me a smile, and more often than not, nods of approval. if you don't love the way she thinks, please assume the problem lies with you and not with her...

a blow-my-mind blog is mishlei shlomo from sl aronovitz. he is so brilliant the it is actually frightening, and although his posts tend to be longer than my attention span, they are well-worth reading. he is very mired in misguided (but inspired) leftism, but his posts are always well thought-out and reflectiive of an inquiring mind, rather than so many others (even some of those with whom i agree) who just spit back rhetoric and try to pass it off as original thought. beware, weak minds, of being sucked into the vortex of his seeming logic...

last for now is a new blog by the tailor and the idiot. you can get to it from josh's blog. they are going to be doing movie reviews, from what i understand. although i don't read either of them, i just want to wish them the best of luck.

btw, if there are any mistakes in spelling of blog names that you can correct, or if anyone in the comment section knows how to do links, please feel free.

enjoy!

Playing Catch-Up In Blogland

2006-05-09T06:06:00.000-07:00

Tupperware, Mothballs, and Other Stuff

2006-04-28T05:30:00.000-07:00

so it appears to be a phenomenon in the blog world that the more random and non-meaningful your post is, the more comments you get- please disregard this, josh, as this has completely nothing to do with your last randomly provactive post.

anysara once told me that she would write something she was really proud of and nobody would respond, but if she put a photo of her dog, she would get like 85 comments. another friend resorts to periodic posts about playboy magazine (guess that's like my porn posts, huh?). but everyone seems to agree that when you talk about nothing, lots of people are exceedingly interested.

so, i just wanted to let you all know that i really enjoy tupperware. not just the name brand stuff, but also the rubbermaid, the serving savers, the glad and ziploc brands- pretty much any storage container that is not orange.

a few weeks ago i scattered mothballs near my shed to ward off possums. they look like large white sweet tarts. no, not the possums.

i like other stuff too.

have a greay day!

Blog This!

2006-04-27T06:41:00.000-07:00

stupid people just get on my nerves.

not stupid people with an excuse, like people with head injuries, or those with really bad genes- more like those who could be smarter if they would only stop and think about what they are saying.

on someone else's blog, there were some comments that were so overwhelmingly stupid they made me want to throw things- and i am not a thrower by nature... there are some people who just parade their stupidity like a trophy that they want to show off. their stupidity is their garb of choice, and they wrap themseles in it and go for a stroll down the public thoroughfare, proudly strutting in their Stupid coat (with matching Stupid boots). they are like country-western stars and instead of wearing denim and sequins, they are studded in stupid.

i wonder if these people have an inkling- like a vague tickle in the back of their small minds- they they really might be stupid, or if they are so wrapped up in their own stupidness that they really just can't be bothered to notice?

you know the quote that it is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt?

well, it's like that.

Doctors: Benevolent Buffoons or Satanic Sadists?

2006-04-23T17:30:00.000-07:00

There are some good doctors out there. This is like saying that there are some innocent people on death row, or that there are some people who live as hermits. Although it is true, the exception doesn't disprove the rule. Lots of doctors suck.

i know that medicine is an inexact science. lots of things that work are a total shot in the dark- we don't know why they work, or sometimes even how they work- we just know that they generally do, so we get them prescribed and take them. many things work because they can't not- like curing an "untreatable" infection by amputation of a limb, or killing cancer cells by killing the person through chemo or radiation. sadly, most doctors are too brain-washed into the supposed superiority of their body of knowledge to even allow for the possibility that they are no better than witch doctors- although often with more catastrophic results. the idea that many people who get better would get just as better if left alone as get better with medical intervention is as blasphemous as anything you could say.

but, as usual i digress.

my sister had a baby last week. it was her first baby, but she works in the medical field, so she is rather well-versed in doctorisms. all had gone well with the delivery, and mother and baby were doing great. the day after the baby was born, the g-d of pediactric medicine graced my sister and her newbron with a visit. as he was manhandling the child (lucky my sister's husband was not there to witness this, as i hear he is somewhat of an overprotective daddy...), he explained to my sister- the supposedly naive first-time mother- the art of baby care. the cornerstone of his advice? don't reinforce the baby's crying by responding to it in any way. huh? the baby in question was all of about 11 hours old. she had never manipulated anyone, nor committed any crime, nor- to the best of myt knowledge- questioned the holiness of the doctor. so why was he running this agenda on peaceful, happy mother and baby? so they should all know the Rules from day one. he gave my sister specific examples of what not to do, in case she had any inkling to actually follow her heart or her mother's intuition in any way: when the baby cries, don't look at her. don't even look in her direction. if she cries when you're holding her, put her down and ignore her until she stops. i swear, i wish i was making up that this person, who had gone into the field of pediatrics- i guess at some point to help children?- was advocating full-on neglect of a one day old baby. that air bubble in her tummy? guess she'd better learn to bring that up on her own. that hungry feeling? she should learn the number of the local pizza shop- but in a civilized adult manner, please. just lonely after nine months of being snuggled inside of mommy with warmth and familiar noises? suck it up and realize that the world is a cold hard place and nobody cares if you cry. because isn't that what it teaches a baby if you don't respond to its only means of communication? when my sister said that, basically she had no intention of doing any such thing, AND informed him that she planned further abuse on her child by actually feeding her on demand and holding her just for comfort, the doctor whipped out his...

pamplets.

gotcha.

really, though- why do people bow down to the written word as if it was cast upon the page by G-d himself? why can people say the most stupid random stuff, but if it is written down people suddenly become awed? watch what happens when any person in any business points to a sign or poster or memo that has the WRITTEN POLICY. ooooooooooooooooooooooh. okay... try this next time you are negotiating for something. ask who thought up the policy- for if it can be thought up by charles on the eighth floor, it can be changed by charles' replacement on the ninth floor... if you are in a bind, try to fake your way out by referencing some real or bogus policy- you will be delighted and horrified to find out what slaves people are to written statements and how well harnessing this knee-jerk reaction will work...

anyway, back to the story. massa doctor says, "look right here in this here handbook. it's a pamphlet about babies that i had printed up myself. it says specifically not to reinforce the baby's crying by responding to it" my sister laughed in his face, but how many women don't? the society is all about feminism when it means 12 year old girls should "claim their womanhood" by having group sex with random strangers, but where is society on women's rights when those rights are to be a good mother? not to be all soap-boxy here about women's issues, but what's up with allowing this doctor to inflict his mental illness upon one more mother or one more baby? what's up with teaching 10 year old girls about condoms but not pregnant moms about how to breastfeed so they can succeed instead of turning to bottles of formula, as so many do? why is it okay to have your thong showing over the back of your low-rider jeans, but not to breastfeed in public? (see previous rant on this...) in this generation where so many girls and women are estranged from their mothers by distance or ideology or incapacity or a zillion other reasons, why is motherhood an afterthought instead of a thesis statement?

i don't know where i'm going with this post, which i guess leaves you a lot of room to comment, since there are at least 86 ideas here to comment on. i am frustrated by my sister's experience, because it is so NOT uncommon. (by the way, he told her that infants don't really need to be fed for the first three days of life, so she should rest her -let's say breastfeeding aparatus- and not worry about nursing the baby- AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!! i won't even get started on this one...)

okay- i have to go, but feel free to give some direction to this post...

Cynthia McKKKinney Sucks The Penal Code And Ellen Degeneres

2006-04-06T14:39:00.000-07:00

aren't some sentences way more funny if you leave out the commas?

seriously, though- what the heck is up with congresshuman macKKK(for racism)inney? many people complain about the lack of role models in the african-american community (outside of sports people and music people). i think the problem is that they have too many role models- who model victimology and race-carding. from jesse jackson to al sharpton to johnnie cochran to this mckinney wacko- why is bill cosby excoriated when these people are given press coverage? and why can't african-americans, or any other hyphenated americans, simply have positive role models who do not share their skin color? and why is it that, in order to be a properly hyphenated american, that one must have a different skin color from the vikings? you rarely hear about irish-americans or swedish-americans or whatever, even when they are many many generations closer to the actually "home country" than most 'african"-americans?

but i digress.

why is there almost nobody out there who is demanding that assault charges be filed against the honored congressperson? what is up in general with people caught on tape, or seen by 78,000 witnesses to commit a crime, who still get the benefit of being "alleged" criminals? are we really afraid of being called names that we can't even enforce our laws?

as for ellen degeneres, i would just like to commend her on her role-modelness. although i may not agree with some, or even much, of what she does, i think that her grace and dignity deserve some recognition. i think she is a great example of a person who is living her life to the best of her ability, capitalizing on her natural talents, and not playing victim to her circumstances. she can be as gay as the day is long ( i never understood what this phrase means, by the way, it just seemed appropriate to throw it in here...), but instead of harping on about it, and preaching a whole political agenda, she just lives her life in the privacy in her own home. her public self is admirable not because of or in spite of her sexual orientation, but because she has made herself into a person worthy of admiration. and that's why cynthia 'not my fault' mackinney is a loser and ellen degeners is awesome.

now how's that for random thoughts?

The Entitlement Mentality Versus The Work Ethic

2006-04-04T14:45:00.000-07:00

with all the debate lately about "undocumented" workers, one issue continues to hover on the periphery of the debate. this issue, i think, is at least as compelling as the various amnesty programs that have been proposed, but it seems to be the pink elephant in the room that nobody wants to deal with. over and over again, you hear about "mexicans taking the jobs americans don't want," or illegal workers begin paid such a pittance that any self-respecting american would scoff at the offer. but today i heard something that gave me an "aha!" moment. a man called in to one of the trillion radio shows i listen to and said that he owns a business. (heard this before? yep- check) he employs a bunch of guys who he assumes are probably illegal (check). he tried, at one time, to get rid of the illegals and hire americans (check again). but he found that american workers, even thoug hthey were paid more, just didn't have the same work ethic as his mexican workers. (huh? stop the tape...) when the host came back with the predictable, "well, maybe you didn't pay them enough more. maybe if you offered an even higher wage, you would have attracted a better class of workers, or at least the workers you had would do better..." the man said, "no, you don't understand. you can't pay someone to have attention to detail. you can't pay someone to care about something they genuinely don't care about. it's not a money issue; it's an issue of work ethic." wow- lightbulb moment for me!

that epiphany ties in to so many other things that i think are wrong with society. there's a whole entitlement mentality here that pervades/invades/infects every aspect of our society, from cutting people off in traffic, to sitting on welfare when you're perfectly able (albeit perfectly unwilling) to work, to having petition drives to not let people even vote to end affirmative action. having a society of entitled people has produced the laziest, most good-for-nothing generation in history. children that have everything handed to them become not beneficent philanthropists, but stingy, self-involved narcissists. the beneficiaries of many (not all) social programs become not grateful patriotic citizens, but often criminals- petty or otherwise- and victimizers of others in society. from cheating on SAT tests to suing everyone for everything, this priveledged nation of entitled people has become the most whining, manipulating, conniving, out for #1 group of people in the universe. things that start as a legitimate leg-up, or even a way to assuage guilt have become out-of-control monsters that people now feel entitled to, whether they are deserving or not. i heard that a certain prestigious university is now planning to require that students sign a contract that they will attend classes and do assigned work. apparently the university is afraid of lawsuits from students who get low grades (or heaven forbid, fail...) even though they did not attend classes or do the work.

back in the dark ages, when i was in high school, people actually got summer jobs (and sometimes even-gasp- worked during the school year!). yeah, it was nerdy, but it was expected and accepted. okay, so we started at minimum wage, but anyone who was at a job for more than about 2 weeks got periodic raises. we actually flipped burgers and scooped ice cream and cut lawns, and, miraculously, we all survived. in college, many of us needed part-time, entry-level jobs to pay for extras like books and highlighters. again, with that crazy job thing! one friend worked in a deli. one worked for the post office. one, particularly cute blond (no, not me- but thanks...) waitressed in a bar and made amazing tips. one friend, a brilliant english lit. type, even worked as a garbage man in the suffocating heat of florida because the money was so good.

why did we do it? because we had to. because there was no state grant to sit on our rear ends and watch soap operas. there was no option to hold out for the better, higher-paying jobs, because, quite frankly, we had neither the time to wait around nor the skills needed to get those better jobs. and as we added to our work histories, and took one step at a time, and got a bit better job, and a bit more schooling, we did (most of us, at least) end up with better, more satisfying jobs. all except for me- i married into money (hahaha- that is a total joke! i married the brit because he was and still is awesome in every single way!!!) the point is, that where there is no option not to work, you work.

so, back to the illegal workers, who are the supposed backbone of our society. what happened to the high school students, and college students, and high school drop outs, and soldiers returning from overseas, and out of work actors, and tennis players with carpel tunnel, and laid off factory workers? don't even start ranting about how the jobs mexicans do will not pay a living wage- there is no way to convince me that $0 is more per hour than even $5 an hour- which i think is lower than the actual minimum wage. i refuse to believe that a person in an entry level job, which probably will not support his family, will never get a raise or a promotion if he works to his best ability and tries hard and is reliable. it is insanity to believe that anyone is better off on unemployment or welfare than getting a job that makes them feel like a productive member of society instead of a parasite.

whether i am in favor of immigration or guest workers or amnesty is beside the point. what i am in favor of is people getting off their underworked, overstuffed, big, lazy, entitled behinds and giving the rest of us a break.

vamanos!

I Think, Therefore I Am Not

2006-03-27T19:24:00.000-08:00

listening to reports about the pro-illegal immigrant march/rally the other day, i was hit by a particularly pithy slogan: "i am not a criminal!"

assuming this placard was carried by an immigrant of the non-legal variety (which it must have been, or else, why bother?), i am left with the question: if a person who does an action which is not legal and is, in fact, a crime, is not a criminal, then who is?

being a blond who was substandardly educated in a failing quasi-suburban school system, i decided to consult my favorite navy blue dictionary. it does, in fact, define a criminal as someone who- hold on for this shocker- has committed a crime. woooooooooooooooooa...

so, here's the math: sneaking across our border in the dead of night, or when the border agent's back is turned, or paying someone to smuggle you in their trunk or oil tanker or flower delivery van, or whatever, which is ILLEGAL= breaking a law= committing a crime=you are a criminal. am i missing something here?

why do people get to redefine words that were perfectly clear in the first place, just to further their own agenda? and why doesn't anyone catch on? if i held up a sign that said i was a 7'1 black man, would i get drafted to the NBA and offered 67 gazillion dollars a season? i had a friend from africa (parents were missionaries) who happened to be white. when he put "african-american" on his financial aid forms, he was screamed at, ridiculed and threatened, even though HE WAS AFRICAN-AMERICAN!! and he was told by the befuddled financial aid officer something like, "you might indeed be african-american in a certain sense, but that is not who this financial aid money is for..." huh? so african-american means only black people who have never ever in any generation they have known, even been to africa? oooooooooooooooooooooh, beg pardon...

okay, in this whole p.c. culture i get that a baby is a fetus if it is not wanted, and a baby if it is. discrimination based on race is affirmative action if you are for it, and discrimination if you are against it. temperature fluctuations are global warming if you believe the hype, and normal seasonal variations if you have been alive longer than 10 minutes. but why doesn;t anyone seem to notice? is this a case of "you can fool most of the people most of the time"? where is the line between use of language to spin an issue and just outright wrongness that flies in the face of reason?

if this man had said i don't want to be thought of as a criminal, i get that. if he had said it is not fair to make me a criminal (even though he made himself a criminal, but whatever...), okay- i hear it. if they were marching around saying decriminalize immigration- fine. but saying that he really is a criminal is not, in my humble opinion, any different than saying that i have hair on my head. it is an unbiased non-judgemental statement of fact. if i don't like that fact, i can certainly do something to change it, but I HAVE NOT CHANGED THE REALITY MERELY BY CLAIMING THAT IT IS NOT WHAT IT IS.

so, why do so many latch on to these slogans when they are objectively false? and why can't i just say, "i'm so thin" and fit into a size 2? i think i'll go shave my head for inspiration...

The Protocols Of The Elders Of Blogland

2006-03-20T18:24:00.000-08:00

i will try my best not to implicate the guilty in this post, but if you are reading it, and you see yourself, you're just gonna have to suck it up...

apparently, i violated some sacred code of blogger conduct a few posts back. i mentioned something that happened that frustrated me, but i did not go to the origin of the frustration and try to "work it out" first.

okay, so my thinking about blogs is that they are pretty much a free-for-all of stream of consciousness writing and random thoughts about random subjects. to put it bluntly, i am of the following mindset: my blog, my universe, my rules.

if what i say violates your deeply-held moral principles of right and wrong and upsets your universe, either deal with it and take it like a man, or quit reading this blog.

so, i am wondering- am i alone in this view? is there really some code of conduct somewhere in the small print that i missed out, yet signed on to uphold? it is entirely possible that i am the witch (yes, the kind that starts with a B) that i have been accused of being. it is even likely at certian junctures that i am all about me (duh, i have a BLOG!!) and don't see the other side. i am blogging to process my own shtick when i should be fighting for truth, justice, the american way, and the goose-stepping adherence to the protocols of blogland. but who gets to make that up?

and if you can't take me, yet still obsessively read my blog, shouldn't that be your bad and not mine?

Red Is For Love And Other Moral Dilemmas That Aren't

2006-03-12T09:32:00.000-08:00

recent news reports about the south dakota abortion law had me both cheering and cringing. i cheered because finally some people somewhere had the guts to just do the right thing and challenge the high holy roe v. wade. i cringed because of the lack of exception for rape and incest. then, i felt like a big knee jerk.

several years ago, when i was teaching high school, one of my students brought a grave problem to my attention. another one of her teachers, a recent college grad, had explained to the class that teachers shouldn't grade papers in red ink because red was a color that said "stop". this new teacher, fresh from the indoctrination of the psychobabble of an american university, graded only in green, a color which said, "go". when i handed back a bunch of graded papers, complete with smiley faces, balloons, and even confetti (if the score was high enough to merit a party...), my students grimaced in dismay. they explained my faux pas, in slow careful words, as if an old-fangled teacher like me could not possibly have been expected to comprehend this new-fangled understanding of children's sensitive minds. i informed them that they had it all wrong, and, in actual fact, red was a color of love. witness the schoolgirl drawing hearts all over her books- red, red, red... lipstick kisses on the mirror? red. all manner of valentine's day gifts and confections? red and more red. so really, when i mark their papers in red, it shows that i love them and care about them becoming literate and succeeding in the future. after a few weeks, the ban on red ink faded away, like so many other fads, but that experience stayed with me, showing me the power of programming people's expectations and reactions. what a paradigm shift...

so, what does this have to do with babies and abortions? it's all about the paradigm shift. what if, and please just go with this for a second- we are so trained to look at carrying a baby who is the result of rape or incest as a victimization that we don't even stop to think about shifting the paradigm? what if, instead of viewing the pregnancy as a further abuse perpetrated on the victim, we were trained to look at it as a totally redemptive thing? how about viewing the baby as the only good to come out of a tragedy? what would our perspective be if, throughout our lives, we had heard about these heroic girls, who in spite of horrible acts inflicted on them, were so privledged that they were able to bring new (innocent!) life into the world? i have been so indocrinated to believe that this baby that would grow inside of the girl like a cancer, would be a constant, festering reminder of probably one of the worst times in her life, that i can barely wrap my mind around the idea that this might not objectively be the case. what if human life (or at least new, innocent human life) was so valued in our society that pregnancy resulting from rape or incest would be the moral equivalent of having a burglar in your home leave behind a lottery ticket which turns out to have all the winning numbers? the original event was an abomination, but the aftermath was completely transformative and uplifing. how much more clarity would we have if we could look beyond what we have been trained to believe and just accept a paradigm shift?

what would society look like if protecting innocent human life was never a moral dilemma?

what if red pen really just shows up better against black or blue ink?

what if every decision uplifted instead of agitating or disturbing?

what if having a baby really is like winning the lottery?

just some food for thought after a long hiatus...

Out Of The Closet And Into The Fire, Mixed Cliches, and Mixed Nuts...

2006-03-07T11:33:00.000-08:00

yes, we have finally come up for air, after the long awaited wedding of anysara and soulmate! although every blog i checked so far is discissing the same topic, i figured i would throw in my 3 cents worth. so, here are my cliff notes for the wedding of the century (blogbrit and i got married in the last century...):

photochick was stunning in a glamour girl kinda way. she did this thing with her hair that was totally fashionista-on-the-runway beautiful, and her gown was artsy beautiful in a completely photochick style...the tailor was distinguished looking and appropriately black-hattish about the whole affair. his bracha at the end of sheva brochos was amazing, done perfectly, and truly heartfelt. sadly, he may now have to start going out for ice cream with s.s. instead of anysara...b-2 looked absolutely lovely- picture perfect and fresh-young-thing energetic. she danced with the blondlets and made anysara really happy by being there...josh was a special treat for all involved. his roadtrip made everyone so excited- especially the junior blonds. he is totally adorable in person, and even though he left his hello gift in our house, he came through with flying colours when in came to being m'samayach the chooson v'kallah. soulamte is still smiling about the elvis memorabilia and when i jokingly suggested that he could feed it to his dog, he about fell out of his chair with indignation...dimmy and mrs dimmy have now sent me multiple nastygrams about not being able to spend qulaity friend time with them when they were in town, so although it is great that they came in, and their kids were really cute, i'll have to reserve further niceties about them until they chill the heck out...blogbrit was awesome in every way. true to form, he handled everything with grace and diplomacy. from being thrown out of his own home for the shabbos kallah, to shlepping the family for photos before the chasunah, to making sure that everyone felt included and special at the dancing, to setting up for sheva brochos while i ran out to do a last minute errand, he rose to the occasion in every way, and made me fall in love with him all over again about a million times...

and, last but not least, anysara and soulmate- he was clearly in Love (yes, with a capital L). the way he looked at her just took your breath away, and he was so full of true joy and happiness that it makes losing anysara almost bearable. you could tell that he really Knows that she is his One True Love- the kind you write songs and poems about, and the kind that makes you feel lucky and blessed every day of your life. He is actually good enough for her- no small feat- and has passed muster with everyone who loves her- we know he will do right by her in every way and cherish her for being the amazing person she is. and for that, we love him as well...anysara was like the magical fairy princess in a young girl's dreams. she was appropriately in the clouds the whole time, and just radiated pure joy. she was a vision of the contentment of a soul that has truly found its other half, and everyone who was around her just got wrapped up in her bliss. she looked breathtaking, and gorgeous, and handled the whole day with more grace under pressure than i could muster even in my dreams. she just exuded this energy that made the day feel like all things are possible, and she managed to make about 150 people who have almost no connection in real life feel like the closest of friends. it was wonderful to see how many lives she has touched, and that she has touched them so deeply that they would come from all corners of the map to be there for her to share her day. she was everything you want a bride to be, and if it wasn't for my total denial of the fact that she is moving tomorrow night, i would probably be falling to pieces at the thought of her not being around...but, i am more happy for her than i know how to say, more proud of her than i probably should admit, and more a fan of hers than she will ever know. i really do wish her and soulmate every happiness in the truest sense of forever. i wish them a love that is as all-consuming as on their wedding day, becomes deeper and closer with each passing moment, and is always at the forefront of their world. we love you guys!!! now quit sniffling!!!!!!!!!

Cruel and Unusual News Cycles

2006-02-23T05:50:00.000-08:00

well, i keep waiting to hear something on the news that will inspire me to blog and not just to mutter evil things under my breath. so far, no dice.

i listened to most of a show yesterday where the premise was that everyone is automatically bashing the idea of arabs running US ports, but maybe we should hear about the kinder, gentler side of UAE. pretty much everyone who called in- all three people- said that at least they were better than _____________ (fill in any other arab country here). then a former navy guy called to say that when they needed a respite, they would park their big naval vessels in dubai, a port of the UAE, because that was considered safe (again, relative to the rest of the countries in that region...). yeah, okay- yemen was considered a safe port, too- until they bombed the side of the USS COLE. next...

then, late last night, i heard a story for the third or fourth time, that i realized had blog potential, if only i would give it that unique blogblond spin. so, here goes...

apparently a judge in california (or a federal judge for california?? i was kind of asleep at first...) has decided that lethal injection is cruel and unusual punishment, violating the 8th amendment of the constitution. why? because it may cause the dying man pain... so they have now decided that it would be less cruel and less unusual to overdose him on barbituates so he can just drift off into the sweet slumber of a peaceful death, which, after all, is what any apple pie eating all-american murderer/rapist/torturer deserves. this in itself is funny- that a hardened criminal can "do the time" but can't get pricked by a needle. but that's not even the crux of the issue. in california, three conditions must be met before a death sentence can be handed down. the inmate in question met all three conditions- one of which is that torture is an element of the crime. (don't go letting your heart bleed over this one; he uncoercedly confessed...)

so, after this gentle soul stalked, raped, beat, raped, hurt, and raped some poor woman who screamed for help the whole time (according to his testimony), he attached her to the side of his car so that she was hanging face down on the road and drove around with her for a while so that the road would scour off her face (she was still alive at the beginning of this) so that she wouldn't be identified as easily, thus buying him more time to run and hide since he was less likely to be linked to the crime. ah, humanity.

sorry to be so graphic, but this is the guy we want to be spared the pain of an injection (actually just an IV line being inserted, since the actual "injection" is shot into the line and not the arm, but i digress). this is the case this judge wants to go into the constitutional law textbooks as the poster child for someone who should be spared suffering. this is an indication of how far we have evolved as a species.

wtf?

i, your humble blogblond, would like to suggest an alternative form of justice, that would actually approach the meaning of the word justice. i know that many people are stuck on this whole biblical "eye for an eye" thing. this is problematic, since it would be highly unethical, not to mention shockingly upsetting, for an employee of the government to rape, torture, etc. a death row inmate. so, in the interest of fairness and good karma all around, i think we should let other inmates EARN this privledge.

right now, prisoners with "good time" can earn cigarettes, money for the snack shop, cushy prison jobs, or early release. think how much more motivated they would be to behave in prison if we let them earn a chance to do what they love most- hurt and destroy other people.

the sentence would be exactly what the crime was. you raped? guess what? you beat to a pulp? hope you like pain...unfortunately, one cannot replicate the terror of a young girl who is attacked and raped, but that shouldn't stop us from trying. sure we can't induce the kind of horror that victims of violence often endure as they see their loved ones tortured or murdered before their eyes, but no system is perfect. (as a side note, many of the arab countries which the US seems to hold in such high esteem have no compunction about punishing family members for the sins of their relatives, so that's one to think about...).

maybe, just maybe, that child rapist would think twice about those moments of pleasure if he knew with certainty that he would face the same treatment at the hands of 350 pound bubba in the state pen. perhaps the guy who burns a family alive to cover up his burglary would just wear a ski mask next time if he knew that his cell mate was gonna torch him and then roast some marshmallows over his smoking remains.

and think of the compliance rate of inmates hoping to get that next executioner slot. no more attacks on guards, because you can save that rage for the guy on death row. why settle for shanking someone, when you could get literally hours more of pleasure but hacking someone to death with an ice pick? prison could become like fantasy island for felons. with such a plethora of willing executioners, we wouldn't need to have such a backlog of inmates sucking up tax dollars that could be used for filling potholes or something. they're not being rehabilitated anyway, so why not at least put their talents to good use?

less expense for the state, less prisoner-on-prisoner crime, more deterrent value, and, let's not forget, JUSTICE for the family and loved ones of the victim. what could be more of a win-win all around feel-good solution?

there's nothing like a little karma with your morning coffee.

Finally, A Ray Of Sunshine In The News!

2006-02-18T17:21:00.000-08:00

just to let you all know- dimmy has procreated once again. mrs dimmy gave birth to a healthy, happy, beautiful baby girl a few days ago. the blogbrit and i wish them much much happiness, and all the best of everything, and we hope they enjoy their new baby girl as much as we are enjoying ours!

Yes, Virginia, There Is A Biathalon...

2006-02-14T06:42:00.000-08:00

well, whaddaya know- there are stilll some things out there, having nothing to do with technology, that can baffle the blogblond.

a few weeks ago i heard the tail end of a discussion about a biathalon. i assumed, based on the information given about it, that it was a hoax. a total joke. like me telling my teenager that i heard the next olympics will feature rear-end wiping as a sport. (extra points if you spray air freshener afterward...) but no, the biathalon is real.

now, you may say, "wtf is a biathalon?" what i actually said is, "noooooo waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!"

the biathalon is a "sport" where overly buff men ski for like a gazillion miles with sharpshooter rifles strapped to their backs. like james bond on steroids. when they get to the end of the ski course- "past the brink of exhaustion!" the announcer proudly explained!- they fall on their faces on the ground and shoot targets with their rifles. most of them seemed to miss most of their shots, but, then again, james bond got a stunt double to do the skiing...

now, what i want to know is, who the heck thought up this gem of a sport. and even more than that- who exactly are the fans???

this is like some terrible movie that becomes a cult classic merely for the torture of how aweful it is (on this topic- go rent napolean dynamite!!!! seriously...).

i remember the olympics as a child. the stuff we got to watch- gymnastics and fugure skating mostly- was really really good. the tricks were, well, tricky. the moves were art in motion. you held your breath and you gasped when you watched them do some gravity-defying amazing thing and made it look effortless. they really were the best of the best in something that looked like it took exceptional discipline and training.

now the olympics seem to bring to life that glorious western ideal of everything is fabulous to someone... i actually watched- yeah, i know- i think it was snow boarding. it was- and i'm not joking- a gaggle of 5'6" men (yes, they were all 5'6- anybody know why???) with baggy clothes that had the black pinstrpies on white that i have only seen in photos of concentration camps. no, that is not funny. except that, unlike in the camps, these guys had baggy saggy oversized stuff (and not becasue they were wasting away). their trousers were literally falling down as they did their routines. they were like some pseudo-gangsta gay surfer dudes gone wild- and they strutted like they were sooooooooooooo cool.

wanna know what they did to impress their fans? they flew up in the air and grabbed their boards. yeah, big whoop. the announcer was like, "wow- look at that air!" huh? can he actually see air? wonder what he's smoking. do the boarders create some special kind of air by grabbing their boards? and then what's worse is that the men in my house all started saying, "wow- look at that air!" every time another guy would flip. they got that glazed over look in their eyes like a 4th grader watching a video about how babies are made. like it is so spectacular that they can't even believe it is real. like it is too good to be true. like they are so sorry that THEY never thought of taking up air as an olympic sport...like there really was some special knid of air floating around...

and that's pretty much what the olympics seem to have turned into. a festival of mediocrity and anything is worthwhile-ness that is boring beyond belief and underwhelming beyond reason. the couple that gold-medalled in figure skating last night was technically okay, but had no spark, no magic, no "wow" factor. they just sucked less than everyone else. the sports they are including- sliding around on various pieces of wood or fiberglass, and i hear soon ballroom dancing- woo hoo!- are so un-sporty as to be un-fun to watch. i get it that if you play checkers, you might want that to become an olympic sport, but c'mon- is that really what the olympics are about?

now, please don't think that i am some big fan or supporter of the olympics, because that would be entirely wrong. i just think there should be some integrity out there. or maybe i should petition for laundry folding to become an olympic sport. do you think that would be summer or winter? and if i make it to the medal round, will you guys all support me?

go blond!!!

Bittersweet Reunion With An Old Friend- The F Word

2006-02-08T14:01:00.000-08:00

a few days ago, while out on a target run with my buddiest girlfriend, i decided to visit an old friend i haven't had contact with in quite a while. there was no particular reason, no pang of nostalgia, no flash of inspiration. i just felt like the time might be right to shake things up a bit. so, on the way to the parking lot, i reunited with the f word.

now, let me back up and provide you with some background here. the f word and i used to be close. at times in my life, we were virtually inseparable. the f word was there when i needed it, never judging, never scolding- just there to be picked up and tossed around any time i felt like i needed it. f and i go way, way back. i remember an early flirtation with f, back when i was about 10 years old, writing a hate letter to my mother (yeah, don't start...). i tentatively wrote it in, and liked it so much that i darkened it up, and underlined it, and then used it repeatedly throughout the letter. being appropriately hippy-wannabe and new-agey before its time, my mother didn't nip this "free expression" (my constitutional right!) in the bud. (yeah, i know...) from there , my love for f (the word, not the deed. hi, dimmy) just grew and grew. as a teenager f and i were closer than any two beings should be. f was in my heart and in my mind, and frequently in my notebooks and conversations. i was f-ed.

so, it was with some sadness and some measure of relief that i realized that f and i are no longer a good fit. the word sounded wrong coming out of my mouth. although my friend, a connoisseur of the f word in her own right, did not look horrified, or even laugh out loud (she probably wanted to...), the awkwardness that followed my ungracious f-bomb was tangible and complete.

this friend has taken to using the letters WTF, as in: what the f---? instead of using the actual word. i kinda like it, especially in writing. it's a little smoother sounding than the f word, which is apparently out of my current demographic purview. in a way. i guess it's nice that f and i have parted ways. maybe it's a sign that i've become more refined. maybe it shows that i am older, wiser, and have a better vocabulary. maybe i am just one classy blond.

or maybe i am like that 67 year old woman who tries to wear a mini skirt and stripper shoes and everyone is, like, barfing behind her back- past my prime and played out.

i'm gonna go eat some chocolate.

wtf???

"Constitutional Rights"- The Race Card For Ill-Informed Crusaders

2006-02-07T10:07:00.000-08:00

Okay, over the last week or so i have heard about 18 million things that made me think, "man, i should blog about that...".

last night i heard something that so blew me away by its sheer idiocy that i actually made a note to remember it so that i could rant about it.

so, here goes:

you know that i am all about nursing. you know that i am even to the extreme of most nursing moms with the whole family bed/nursing on demand around the clock thing. i think that a mom should nurse her baby when her baby needs her, but there are certain limits of just common decency that i may or may not have time to throw in at the end of this post.

here's what got me last night. there was a case in ann arbor, michigan- the berkley, CA of the midwest- where a woman was nursing her baby at the local YMCA while her other child swam in the pool. clearly offended by the total lack of modesty shown by discreetly nursing under a t-shirt, the bikini-wearing lifeguard and other similarly clad swimmers objected to this shocking display and asked her to leave the pool area. when they realized how completely foolish they sounded (yes, we can wear bathing suits of all shapes and sizes, but you cannot show 1/4 inch of the side of your breast while you nurse becasue it is too shocking to our delicate sensibilities...) they told her that she was violating the regulation against having food in the pool area. i WISH i was making that up!

anyway, all of the baby-toting crackpots turned out for this one- you know, the ones with their 6 year old tandem nursing with their toddler and newborn- yeah, annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnyway- they interviewed one of those women at a rally to show support. now, let me digress and say that i can totally get on board with saying that the no food rule clearly did not apply to the nursing mom transporting contraband in her breasts. i would fully support someone pointing out how ridiculous it is to be offended by some showing of skin when you are at a pool where people A) are wearing bathing suits, and B) are walking around the locker room stark naked...but this woman they interviewed, this intellectual giant, this well-read bastion of knowledge said she was really upset because, "...nursing infants have a constitutional right to eat!"

come again?

like i said, go ahead and feed your baby. more power to you! you have a right to feed your baby as long as you are being reasonably discreet and respectful of other people's personal space. but a CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT TO EAT????

so many times when something happens in politics, some random person will throw out the race card for no clear reason. not that there is any evidence of racism, implied or otherwise. not like everyone is sick to death of hearing race-whining- they will still cry racism for the stupidest least racist thing around. apparently, this has been replaced by crying constitutional violation...

club gitmo prisoners have constitutional rights even thought they are not US citizens and are not protected by our constitution? yeah, okay...

you have a constitutional right to smoke in a privately owned bar in new york, even though the owner and other patrons don't want you to? yeah, okay...

you have a constitutional right to not eat broccoli? import endangered species stolen from other continents? carry your box-cutters onto an airplane? yeah, whatever...

but "infants have a constitutional right to eat?" when did we, as a nation, stop thinking and start speaking in trite slogans that 90% of the population appears to latch onto even though they don't understand what they are saying?

i have always been among the snobby arrogant intellectual elite who belives that most people are dumber than i am - but seriously- are people getting that much stupider, or do i just have less patience?

Where Is The Love- Or Is It All About The Porn?

2006-01-28T19:31:00.000-08:00

okay, this is for all you slackers out there who read this blog, but give me no feedback:

when i was a pseudo porn star, i got like 8 million hits from readers spanning the globe. from bulgaria to hungary, to some oddly spelled south american country, i had people checking out this blog. granted, they only stayed long enough to realize that this blog has no naked pictures, but still...

now, when i spill out personal family business regarding what goes on in the blogbrit/blogblond family bed, i get nothing. insightful political ranting- nada. pithy comments intending to pith people off- zilch. so i am asking you all- what's up with that? can a blogblond get no love unrelated to porn?

i must admit that i do have the stat counter thingie- but that's like those boys who cheat on you in high school- they give you just enough irrelevant information to completely obfuscate the real point, and you're left feeling vaguely crazy. so, my stat counter will say- don't worry, blond- you've had several visitors over the last few days. their isp numbers- or ispn numbers, or whatever they are- were 754764.43.63737..754783583 and they uploaded or downloaded or uplinked 9.548 pages in an average of 42.65 seconds per page. what the heck is that? I AM NOT TECHNOLITERATE!!!!!!!!!!!!! that's like missing a phone call and your caller id says- yeah, someone called, but i didn't get a name or number. but they were calling from a blackish grey cordless phone with a 7" antenna from somewhere in the midwest. oh, and there was some kind of chip inside the phone with storage capacity for 4800 phone numbers. what IS that????

my husband actually bought me chocolate the other day to make me feel better about this lack of cyber love. even my guy on the side is two timing me- with my own husband (but that's another story...) (and a JOKE!!!!) . what a week... i am starting to feel like that guy in the office who has really bad breath- but nobody wants to be the guy to step up to the plate and tell him, so everyone just avoids him. then his one friend who does talk to him is like, no- nobody's avoiding you- it's just flu season and they're all germ phobic... so cyber pals- do i have cooties or are you all just slacking?

must i mention porn in every post in hopes of getting hits? what do i have to do to get some feedback around here? i know you're out there, lurking around your keyboard, thinking okay, maybe i WILL write something here... but maybe the blond will excoriate me (i have wanted to use that word on here for sooooooooo long!!!). maybe she really does have cooties and i will catch them if i post. maybe i will be exposed as a cyber-lurker and then i won't get an invitation to that afternoon tea i was hoping to attend... so, all i'm saying is, just grab the mouse and do the click and type the words and POST ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pornpornpornpornpornpornpornpornpornpornpornpornpornpornpornpornpornpornpornporn

Is America A Sleeping GIant or Just A Big Dumb Oaf?

2006-01-26T17:54:00.000-08:00

quite surprisingly, and contrary to all peace-loving, evil-excusing liberal ideology, the "palestinians" have elected hamas (proud originators of the suicide bomb terrorists) to REPRESENT them as a people. now, maybe this is just my corrupt western ideology talking, but i'm thinking that if you freely vote for someone to represent you (meaning stand for/further/work to attain your interests and ideals), and that someone happens to be a sick scummy terrorist, then you, by your own definition of yourself, are a sick scummy terrorist too. maybe you don't actually strap on the bomb belt, maybe you are just a wannabe, but if your heroes are a bunch of psychos who want to blow up innocent human beings (for what ideal, again?) that makes a statement about YOU.

so, i'm waiting with the anticipation that grips someone who is about to watch the 15th instant replay of a football player blowing out his knee or an ice skater crashing his skull and breaking his neck. i'm cringing and somewhat nauseated, but oddly drawn to watching what will come next. what am i waiting for? i'm waiting to see how the lefties will spin the election results to explain how the arabs really do want peace and how hamas is really not a terrorist group who has never waivered from their commitment to try to annihilate israel. i know that hamas, in a beautiful showing of their kindler gentler side (no, i did not say manipulative and conniving...) makes summer camps for kids (terrorist-in-training camps?) and gives lemonade to thirsty ctizens. but can anyone honestly say that the "palestinian" people voted in hamas for anything but their hatred of the jews? are there lefties out there who, in spite of their idealization of 3rd world peoples, would suggest that the very arabs they so idealize are so stupid that they would vote for more lemonade and not know about the terrorism dispensed by their duly elected representatives?

i know the justifications will soon flow as freely as the anti-semitism they mask. i know that the misguided love of the seeming" underdog" will soon guide the discussions of either how positive hamas can be for the "oppressed" people, or how the "palestinians" were driven by desperation (over what?) to elect corrupt hamas over corrupt fatah. but i am still so curious to see how this will all play out. will the "sleeping giant" countries finally wake up and smell the scuds?

also, i am waiting for someone to explain, in a coherent and well-reasoned way, why this double standard of acceptability is not only tolerated- it is embraced.

how much money are the US, England, Canada, and other do-gooder nations throwing at this new "palestinian state"? how many weapons have we given them to control thier citizens that will eventually be used to kidnap non-combatants or to slaughter pre-schoolers?

really don't tell me, because i may become ill (or psychotic, or both).

it's the same question i have, over and over and over again, that nobody can give a good answer to. why would it be an abomination to arm the nazis, but not to arm the arabs? why is aryan nation a group of hatemongers, while the PLO is a group of freedom fighters? i come back to this point again and again in hopes that someone out there can shed some light. so, if you think you've got the answer, please post.

otherwise, please send duct tape.

The Family Bed

2006-01-24T15:58:00.000-08:00

Warning: this post contains Too Much Information. if you choose to continue reading, because you are the type of person who can't resist surveying the carnage after a particularly nasty accident- well, that's on you. consider yourself warned...

our family, much to the dismay of my long-suffering husband, practices a concept called "family bed". this is our attempt, as normal middle class americans, to replicate poverty-stricken sub saharan africans. or, as my mother calls it, New Age Birth Control. rather than eating locusts or donning loin cloths, we show our solidaity with the world's citizens by letting our babies and young children sleep in ou bed with us. . we are one with the global tribe.

the way it works is: from the moment the baby is born he or she sleeps with me. the baby can nurse whenever it wants and i never have to leave the comfort of a warm bed in the middle of the night. my husband and other children never have to be woken up by a crying baby, hungry but in another room so it has to cry to get my attention. the baby can hear my breathing and my heartbeat, and i can just reach over to pat its sweet little back or touch its silky hair, or just calm it back to sleep. (btw, for those of you who are keeping score, the rate of SIDS for babies who sleep in a family bed is almost none. and, to my knowledge, no parent who was not intoxicated by drugs or alcohol has ever rolled over and smothered the baby. just so you know...) those are the upsides...

the small drawback is that this latest baby doesn't really want to leave our family bed. not that i can blame it (or in the present case- her). our room is where all the fun is. not only do we hide the treats in there, but we listen to AM talk radio when the rest of the house is quiet. we have the fluffy down comforters while the rest of the rooms have regular quilts. we have lively and spirited discussions (in hushed tones, of course) long after everyone else (except the teenager) is asleep. we trade secrets about friends, neighbors, and co-workers. and, really, what self-respecting baby wants to miss juicy gossip?

usually the babies start wanting their own space ( i hear this is called a "crib"...) and they gradually transition into their own bed- or at least the bed of an older sibling in the "big kids" room. this baby, though, seems to have other plans. much as this disgruntles my husband, however, this is not what is currently bugging me about our family bed.

the current issue, and again i remind you that this post contains TMI, is that this baby is a grabber. that's right- you know those machines in an arcade that have the mechanical arm with the big claw thing attached, and they just sort of thunk down wherever it looks like they might get lucky and grab a prize? well, she's kinda like that.

for most of her life, she had neither the coordination or the expectation of success that would lead her to make a grab for the goods when she wanted a midnight nosh. lately, however, the rules have changed. these days it's like an all-night snack bar- kind of like denny's with breastmilk. hungry? serve yourself. thirsty? have at it. bored? lonely? lost a sock? no problem- just paw mommy and soothe yourself back to sleep with a little emotional eating. disturbed yet? try waking up to cold little hands rooting around inside your shirt when you were having a perfectly pleasant dream about canadian politics.

it wasn't so bad when she would whine a little bit and i would wake up and nurse her, but now my little miss independent has graduated to self-serve. my husband rolled over the other night and put his hand on my shoulder- and i'm pretty sure i hissed at him to just wait for breakfast. i am getting paranoid that one of my other kids will come into my room for something and find me inflagrante nursicato. i am starting to have nightmares about being in the grocey store with my shirt opened down to the belly button.

i know my little one needs me, and i am all about the nursing, but this is turning into a made for tv movie or an after school special. it is like alien, but in reverse- where the creature is trying to crawl back in instead of trying to get out. and if i rebuff her, she makes this gunt of indignation- like how dare i withold what is rightfully hers. i know that this stage will pass, and that it will all be over much too quickly, and that i will miss these days of having a baby who really needs me. but in the meantime i am thinking about hiding under the bed in a sleeping bag wearing multiple layers of padlocked clothing.

or maybe i'll just start putting the baby in her crib...

but then what would i blog about???

Blogblond Rules

2006-01-16T05:44:00.000-08:00

okay, gang. here's the update:

blogblond -1
giant video thing -0

not only did she spend the night alone in the cold basement, we forced her to show a children's video before bed. to add further humiliation, we let the kids play mario brothers on her. take THAT, video wench!

on to better and brighter news, i went to anysara's shower last night. my five year old really did ask me, "mommy, are you really going to take a shower with all of your friends?" yeah...

anyway, we went to a place called "you're fired!" nope, no donald trump nonsense for the blogblond and co.- this place was where you pick out a piece of pottery (ceramics? glass? misc. hard white substance? i'm sure photochicklet will be able to set us all straight on this...) and paint it. then they glaze it and throw it (gently, i'm sure) into a kiln to make it all shiny and pretty and usable. everyone made anysara a something to use in her new home- from serving pieces to doggie bowls- and it was all reflective of our individual pesonalities, and all full of love for anysara. it was so much nicer than the run-of-the-mill shower where you have to sit and fake smile while the bride-to-be has to sit and fake smile when she opens her fourth crock pot. not that i have anything against crock pots, it's just all the cheesey fake smiling that makes me want to gag. oooooooooooooooooooh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! those oven mits are SO PERFECT!!! they match you brother's eyes!! how perfect!!! and this computer keyboad cozy- how original and thoughtful- did you crochet this yourself? oh, it's knitted, not crocheted- so sorry... it's all the rage in bangladesh and hungary right now? wow- i'm so lucky to have a friend like you!!! large fake smile...

anyway, you get the picture...

but anysara's shower was the unshower. it was only people who really care about her- no courtesy invites. it was all the stuff women love to eat when they don't have to impress non inner-circle friends by eating veggie puffs with a dainty toothpick. it was all the easy joking around that happens among real friends and no discussions of the latest china pattern that people seem to think brides want to talk about. it was totally anysara through and though, and i have to say that i think it was the best shower i have ever been to.

so, that's all the news for now. i'm off to make something special in honor of martin luther king day. okay, really i'm going to guzzle some coffee and make my baby some oatmeal with applesauce mixed in. i was just trying to be pretentious.

have a great day!!!!!!

Love And Other Indoor Sports

2006-01-15T09:04:00.000-08:00

last night my husband got a rather large flat screen SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. (please be discreet here, since people in my community generally frown on these things as wastes of time, polluters of souls, and bastions of filth)

he and my oldest son had a hand slapping, back patting, grand ole time shopping for, buying, and setting up said offensive object. they rented videos, got plenty of junkfood, a few beverages, and were pretty much happier than i have seen either one of them in a long long time. they had that same goofy spaced out smile that my baby gets after she has made a particularly satisfying dirty diaper... mmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmm good...

my husband apparently fell asleep with his new toy in the den last night. not that i paid much attention, but he crawled into bed this morning at approximately sometime aound, oh, let's say 5:18a.m. (and 26 seconds...) . now, this wouldn't be so bad, excpet that this morning when i went inot the den, she gave me a really nasty look. yes, the THING glared at me. with impunity. like, yeah- i got your man- now what are YOU gonna do about it???

so i was thinking- maybe from now on i should become more watchable. perhaps i should make salads with a machate instead of a petite girly paring knife. between veggies i could throw the knife up in the air, do three back flips, and catch the knife in my teeth. yeah, i am gonna cut the tomatoes now... this is called the action sequence...

i could start throwing plates at said hubby when he walks through the door. i could wear really trashy red lipstick and say really trashy words as i hurl anything that is not nailed down- and that is called a captivating plot...

now, as far as cinematography, that's a tough one to replicate. but then i realized that only "chicks" care about cinematography anyway, so that kind of solved itself.

my screen is not anywhere near 52 inches, and my volume controls are not as easily adjusted as my husband would like, but overall i am thinking that i am a keeper.

and, for the record, SHE is moving into the basement later today.

the question is: where will my One and Only sleep tonight?

stay tuned...

And Now For Something Completely The Same...

2006-01-13T05:41:00.000-08:00

okay, just wanted to mention the blogs of two friends who i have been unable to figure out how to link to (yeah, the blond thing...):

www.reznikov.org/blog is my friend dimmy. he has a kid, so his life is pretty boring, but his blog has some high points... (we love you, dima...) extra points cuz he commented on another blog that he misses me...

www.photochickatlarge.blogspot.com is a friend who is trying to cultivate psychopathology in order to be edgy. if you read her blog, it would make all of her budding personalities really really happy. if you comment, you will get extra credit on the test. if you write a really good comment, she might even send you a piece of her legendary chocolate cheesecake- yum!

sorry, but my tech department just got engaged, so she's been a little busy...

anyway, enjoy!

oh, and p.s. -another friend's blog says that if you write "poop" then you get more hits- so this is an experimental word drop...

The Blogblond Is An Intellectual Exhibitionist

2006-01-10T14:36:00.000-08:00

i was thinking about this whole phenomena of blogging. why would otherwise normal, rational, regular people want to put their innermost thoughts out into cyberspace for everyone to read? the same people who would hem and haw if you asked them about their first crush or their best birthday ever, will willingly discuss the intimate minutae of their lives under the somewhat pseudo-anonymity of the blog world. different bloggers will show different quirks when it comes to revealing information. some will put up heart-wrenching, soul ripping poetry, but won't say what city they live in, for the sake of privacy. some will talk about their most personal experiences, but use initials instead of names in order to protect the guilty. others hide behind current events or humor to get the thrill of narcissistic exhibitionism without the pain of self disclosure (literally or figuratively). and a rare few will just lay bare their true selves for all to read about (hi, josh!)

so, the question is: what's up with this quasi-exhibitionist trend? why are so many people doing it? why is it so compelling to read about someone else's break-up or their first girlfriend or their mother's pancreatic cancer? is this just socially acceptable soap operas? mind candy for the reasonably bright? what compels us to write, even though we are done with high school english, and compels us to read, even when we have full real lives that are very much engrossing? is this just the gawker delay on the road of life, or is it something more?

or am i just an intellectual exhibitionist?

We Have Seen The Enemy, And The Enemy Is...Blogblond

2006-01-07T21:33:00.000-08:00

the newest disturbing blogblond realization: i have alienated the few friends i still have from my childhood.

i grew up in a clique of 5 people. one of them fell out of the group a long time ago, but the other 4 of us have managed to keep in touch over the years- in spite of the different directions our lives have taken. i try to keep politics, and mostly religion, out of our discussions, since these are points of (potential) contention. you see, i have jumped ship on the left-leaning ideology of our middle class youth. while they have gone on, for the most part, to lead lives that are reflective of the general values that we were all raised with, i have turned my life upside down (which i think was a good decision). after much earnest and thoughtful searching on my part, i embraced a set of values that i think reflects Truth (yes, the kind with a capital T). my friends, who i am certain had their own journeys in search of Real Meaning, have stayed more in line with the ideology we grew up with.

so, what does this have to do with this blog?

well, several of those friends have checked out this blog. (sorry d, but you don't count here, since rumor has it that you have also come over to the dark side and embraced a republican wife...)
was i so excited to share my new pastime with my friends? on the contrary, i felt vaguely evil, as if i had betrayed them and the unspoken pact to not throw controversial issues in each others' faces. i felt like they could/might see my posts as an attack on their values, or as a negation of the sense of meaning they have in their own lives. while i find posting vey cathartic and very inspiring, i purposely did not tell certain friends and family members about the blog so it would never be viewed as a slap at them in any way. but then i found out that some of them have been reading the blog. UGH. (sinking feeling in the pit of stomach...)

so, why this post? i guess in part it is to say that i am writing to provoke thought and not anger. in part it is to apologize if i have offended anyone personally, since my real intention is to attack ideas, not friends (this is for you too, anysara). i don't apologize for or regret AT ALL who i am and what i believe, but i know that at times i can be a bit acerbic, and i want everyone to know that it is not my intention to pick any personal fights.

so, that said, and caveat emptor being officially invoked, i hope you will all come back -as often as you can stand it :) and that you will find something hree that will make you rethink- or at least something that will make you smile when you shake your head sadly, and think, oh no, there she goes again...

And Now For Something Completely Different...

2005-12-24T18:08:00.000-08:00

like all proper geeks, i will confess to having googled myself. well, actually i googled blogblond...

guess what? unbeknownst to me, my husband, or anyone who knows me, i am a porn star! nope, not making that up.

after the first few google hits, which actually do link to this blog or my friend's blog, there are a ton of foreign language porn sites that feature blogblond. now, in the interest of full disclosure, i must be honest and say that i did not click on any of the links, so i don't know if i am any good at porn. don't know if i am a jaw-dropping hotty, or just a trashy czecholslovakian.

please be clear that i am not in any way encouraging any of you to check out my alter-alter-egos.

just thought it would be cool to brag a little and let you know.

'tis the season...

Judge Jones Proves That Not All Designs Are Intelligent

2005-12-22T10:35:00.000-08:00

enough said.

Big Brother is Your Mamma

2005-12-20T05:49:00.000-08:00

remember back in high school (or even earlier) when the inevitable response to any untoward question was, "Your mamma!"?

aah, the good ole days, when things were simple (although at the time we thought we had the market cornered on complexity) and no analysis was needed because song lyrics and bumperstickers seemed to capture our deepest thoughts. many people, it seems, are still stuck in that mentality. if it can be captured in a soundbite or printed on a t-shirt, it must be the God-Given Truth.

so it is that i recently had to confront one of my own knee-jerk reactions. my position seemed so sound, so intellectual, so Truthy- but then i thought it through.

why are we afraid of big brother?

i must confess at this point to doing a long and fruitful internship with the ACLU. my friends were all equally pompous intellectuals, and we railed against those "reactionary conservatives" who wanted to control, not only my uterus, but also my First Amendment right to free assembly. who was the government to wire tap my phone, or know what my party identification was for voting (like they couldn't have guessed that- duh!), or see what books i checked out in the libray, or even to know what race i was every time i filled out a government form (to increase your blogblond knowledge base, i always left that blank, or checked 'other'. yeah, government, i'm part of the HUMAN race- don't see that on your corrupt forms- how do you like that?!? oh man...)

but, like i said, i recently had to revisit all of that, and to rethink my fomerly entenched position.

don't know if you've noticed (i certainly didn't at the time), but there are some bad people in the world. really bad people. and, now that i have children, i kind of would like the government to keep any eye on them...

even up until a few weeks ago, i was so against the government being in my business. it seemed so... well, prudent, to protect my privacy. but then i had a blogblond epiphany: i don't do anything i need privacy about.

do i really care if the government taps my phones? other than the idea of my tax dollars paying for the government to hear what's on sale at walmart, or my new chicken recipe, or which of my kids has stomach flu, what's the difference if they listen to my phone calls? is the fact that i'm making soup a national security issue? if the government knows that i am a registered republican, can they use that infomation to blackmail me into divulging classified secrets? if the president himself, for some sick and twisted reason, wants to know my race, i guess i am okay with that, since any person who sees me on the street can posess that same information. and just in case the fbi is still monitering my blog, the mein kampf i checked out of the library was for a history class i was teaching at the time. really.

so, i know all of you socially aware people out there are quaking in your boots over the idea of the government intruding into your private life, but i guess i want to know- what the heck are you doing that you wouldn't want anyone to know about? if big brother knows that i bought an amy tan novel on ebay and that means they can also know about the yemenite guy who just bought three sniper rifles, i am good with that. if big brother wants my kids to take off their shoes at the airport so that the terrorist has one less place to hide his box cutter, i say go for it. if big brother listens on my phone and finds out how i make lasagna, but that also allows them to listen to someone else and know that some evil people are planting a bomb in our local school, then i must say that i am perfectly willing to forego my sacred privacy for a higher pupose. if you are reading this and saying, yeah- but then what? what civil liberties will we lose next? congratulations- you have just had an irrational knee-jerk reaction.

and if you say, but i am a law-abiding citizen, so why does the government need my private information? why is the blogblond turning into a fascist? then i say to you:

your mamma!

The Blogblond Goes Anti-Anti

2005-12-14T08:35:00.000-08:00

Don't know about you, but i am geting sick of people and groups defining themselves by what they are against instaed of what they stand for. if your group has a great idea, or a powerful agenda, why not grab a slogan that shouts poudly what you are for, instead of just ripping off someone else's slogan and saying you are against it? stop being anti-war, and start being pro something. (pro-terrorists? but that is a different rant...) don't be anti capital punishment, be pro life. oh, unless that is already taken by people you oppose... speaking of pro life, at least the other side got it right- instead of calling themselves the anti life movement (hmmmmmmmmm), they have grabbed pro choice. catchy, upbeat- choices are super cool (as long as your choice is politically correct, or watch out!) so i guess it can be done.

in this same vein, why are abortion clinics called planned parenthood? why not 'plan to not be a parent clinic'? or how about, 'if you planned better, you wouldn't be in this position'. or how about just- 'we think abortion is a smart and sound choice, so come on in and have one?' not trying to be provacative, but seriously, if you think you are right and righteous, why not shout it from the hilltops?

Buckwheat Meets Blogblond

2005-12-14T07:13:00.000-08:00

hello all. just want to vent about my letter R.

the R key on my keyboard doesn't really work, so every time i type a word with the letter R, i actually have to go back and reR everything, or it gets left out.

if i didn't cae so much about you, my dea eades, my posts would ead like this. now, i don't know about you, but i find this quite etched. disconceting, even.

pehaps i should have said elme fudd meets blogblond, because, in etospect, it seems like a combination of the two.

anyway, i wish somethin funny would happen to me, so i could wite about it.

in the meantime, hee's a joke my 5 yea old made up: why did the key like the hat? because they went to the dugstoe togethe. yeah, not sue what kind of theapy this kid is gonna need one day, but, tust me, it's not my fault...

True Confessions of a Blogblond

2005-12-13T07:12:00.000-08:00

okay, so in the interest of taking things down a notch, i have compiled the first (possibly of many- this all depends on how voyeuristic my readers are...) of True Confessions...

1. i once tried to flunk a math class so a boy i had a crush on would like me. he liked my stupid (also blond) best fruend, so i figured... anyway, i got a D in the class and they ended up going out...

2. i bought a pair of glasses to wear when i took the ACT in high school. this is before glasses were a fashion statement, and i didn't need them at all. but i thought they would make me look smarter, so i would do better on the test. yeah, i know- blond logic. funny thing is, i think the glasses actually worked...

3. my all time favorite movie is still sid and nancy- but i have no idea why, in spite of mulling it over for yeas and years...

4. i switched majors in college so i wouldn't have to take a statistics class...

5. the only class i did not 4. in college was human sexuality...

6. i have been cyber-stalking an old friend, who i recently found out has a blog. the sick thing is, my husband is now stalking him too, because his blog is hilarious...(it's called the letter D, in case you are wondering). as far as i know, he is unaware of his growing fan club...

7. i still think 80s music is the best...

8. i don't have enough juicy secrets to even make this a top ten...

The Truth Will Set You Free

2005-12-09T08:35:00.000-08:00

recent story from the news that caught my attention:

convicted murderer who killed a store clerk because he was black, and the killer said he just wanted to kill some black people. then he killed a whole family of asians for good measure.

charleton heston, rush limbaugh, and ron silver have all spoken out on behalf of the this poor fellow, saying that he deserves clemency because has been well behaved in prison. he has made speeches to aryan nation youth that they should renounce violence. he tries to be a good example to other prisoners. he said that the store clerk was getting on his nerves, that he didn't only kill him because he was black. he does have a son who has followed in his father's footsteps and is serving a sentence in another prison for second degree murder, but he feels really bad about that, and wishes things could have been different. it is thought that, by showing mercy to this man, future racists and criminals will see that it is better to behave and be nice, as this is what earned our hero his life back.

oddly, leaders in the black community have been silent about this controversy. why?

because the murderer in question is tookie williams, and he is black. the store clerk he killed was white, and he just felt like killing some white people, not the other way around. the asian family he killed really was asian. jamie foxx, spike lee, and some other hollywood liberals are the ones speaking on his behalf, not rush limbaugh or any other hated icon of the right. for the record, no white or asian groups have said a word (that i am aware of) about this hate/ hateful crime.

so what gives? why the double standard? if a white man kiled a black man because of his race, he would be the worst kind of scum. if he hadn't already been murdered in prison, he would most certainly be marched to the gas chamber or lethal injection or whatever with speed and haste. if a white leader or actor or regular joe had the nerve to ask for clemency for the white killer, people would go nuts.

so, why are some minorities more special and protected than others? why is it okay to wipe out an entire asian family, and it is barely a blip on the radar? why is it only okay to stand up for someone if they are black? why is it glamorous and glorious to be a black panther but sick and warped to be a white supremisist? i have no personal stake in this, as i am neither, but this political correctness run amok is making me want to vomit. and if you are going to post about how blacks were oppressed so their racism is justied, save it. chinese immigants didn't exactly have the red carpet rolled out for them when they first got here either. if you think that whites have the power so they shouldn't be allowed to be racist, A-i don't get that argument; what does one thing have to do with the other? and B-if racism is bad, it's bad, and it shouldn't matter who's doing it. objective evil is just evil. like rape- is it ever good? what if it's committed by a catholic, is it okay then? how about by an athiest? you get the point. so, if racism is abhorent, why is it okay?

why is it routinely practiced, encouraged, and condoned by american society in 2005?

and why does saying the truth make me a racist?

The Power Of Positive Thinking

2005-12-08T08:17:00.000-08:00

Just heard a new twist on a news story that's been on the wire for at least several days. The new crop of kidnap victims in Iraq, who were supposed to be killed on Thursday if lots of Iraqi scumbags were not released from jails, is- drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrum roll plllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeease: PEACE ACTIVISTS

wow.

poetic justice?

cosmic joke?

not to be a conspiracy theorist or anything, but i find it odd that today- thursday- is the first day i am hearing about why these poor sweet innocent people found themselves in such a hostile environment. not that eveyone would not jump on the sympathy wagon for people who knowingly put themselves in harm's way in order to accomplish nothing except ticking people off...

even if you believe in your heart of hearts that this war is wrong, unjust, or whatever- even if you believe that we have a right to protest (well, actually, they have no right to protest in Iraq, but we don't need to go there...)- even if you believe that these were well intentioned people who are now being victimized by their captors- how can you not hold them accountable for being there in the first place? no, this is not "blame the victim". this is just common sense. don't go to a war zone in a decidedly undemocratic country, with roving bands of hateful psychos, where the society and culture supports acts of violence against innocent bystanders and not have, at least in the back of your naive/compassionate/empty mind, that something bad just might happen.

but, being the blogblond, i have thought this through and come up with the solution to their plight: they should just talk to their captors, and i'm sure they'll be let go. yeah, they think we should not ever go to war, that instead we should talk to the maniacal dictators that are slaughtering and torturing their own countrymen, so they should try that. obviously, everyone at heart is good and kind- the mean agressive imperialist US just doesn't give them a chance... so, here's the chance for everyone to come out a winner. by talking to their kidnappers (some wackos called the Sword of Insane Evil, or something like that), the peace activists can show that talking really does work. the swordsmen can finally be heard and understood- cuz all anyone really wants here is warm fuzzies and a little communication, right? and the US can be poven wrong and impatient and uncaring and whatever else the left is alleging.

perhaps cindy shehan can donate some of the proceeds from her mega-selling book (like 100 copies, right?) to buy aroma therapy candles and old navy fleece-wear to set the tone for a proper sharing and caring environment. i wonder why the captives have not tried this yet? maybe it just takes a blond to solve the world's problems.

can't we all just get along?

you've GOT to be kidding!

2005-12-07T07:53:00.000-08:00

okay, i know i was going to post next about christmas, but i heard something this morning that got my blondness in a twist- congressional testimony about the "katrina aftermath".

the woman whose testimony i listened to, i will not refer to by name- both to NOT contribute to her 15 minutes of fame, and to erase her humanity as sure as she is attempting to erase the humanity of the many people who rushed to new orleans to help after the hurricane...

the central theme of her "testimony" was that the sports stadium that many of the refugees were sent to was a concentration camp. no, she did not say "like" a concentration camp- she actually called it a concentration camp, like in world war II, complete with gestapo guards. no, i am not exaggerating or making this up, but i wish i was...

one senator asked her something like this, "umm, please, if it um, wouldn't offend you or make you upset in any way on any level, umm, could you maybe possibly, um sort of, if it's okay... not say that it was a concentration camp??????????????? pwetty pweeeease? if it wouldn't offend you?" good thing i wasn't there, cuz i might have had to "offend" that congressperson...

how about, "Saying that the temporary refuge camp, set up to feed, house, and protect the evacuees was a concentration camp is not only the stupidest thing i have ever heard, it also completely belittles the real victims of the real concentration camps, shows that you have no grasp of either history or real suffering, and offends me so greatly that i am going to have you arrested for hate speech..." just a thought...

anyway, this woman not only said it was a concentration camp, she also said that the national guardsmen there to protect them from the looting and lawlessness that was going on outside (and not by the gestapo, either...) were rednecks, that the army (the only people there who could restore any semblance of order to absolute chaos) was the gestapo, and that they were, in fact, tortured. she did not elaborate, but i guess that not having adequate food or water- which is a total bummer, don't get me wrong (but still better than drowning, getting eaten by aligators, or actually being in a concentration camp...)- is equivalent to being systematically hunted down, rounded up, stripped, raped, humiliated, beaten, taken away from family on purpose, demoralized, starved, worked until death by exhaustion, medically experimented on, completely dehumanized in every way, and finally exterminated and thrown into mass unmarked graves.

yeah, the sports place was totally like that.

so, it's the same question as the holiday question: WHY ARE PEOPLE SO AFRAID TO OFFEND SOMEONE THAT THEY LET THE IDIOTS OFFEND EVERYONE??????????????????

there is a quote- wish i could remember who said it- that all that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing.

so, i'm asking- where are all of the good people, and why are they so silent in the face of sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much evil?????????????????????????????

is it really so offensive to tell the truth?

chrismukkah- what the heck?!?!?!?

2005-12-06T09:20:00.000-08:00

okay, here goes the first blogblond rant:

i just read about this great new idea for interfaith families: chrismukkah (no, i am not making this up!). there is a new line of cards, gifts, and paraphanelia for families who didn't respect their own religion or traditions enough to want to perpetuate them by marrying someone of their own faith. don't get me wrong here- marry who you want, but if your list of what you really want in a spouse does not include sharing your core values about religion, then don't incorporate pseudo-values after the fact so you can give and receive gifts. that's part one.

part two is that chanukah is not a major holiday, and there is no reason to give gifts- other than to pacify jewish kids in public schools whose christian friends are winning the gift lottery every december, while in their own jewish homes, they are getting fried potato pancakes. christmas, from what i understand, is also not supposed to be about gifts. the whole tree idea was just to pacify little christian kids in public school whose pagan friends had cool fertitlity rituals, while in their own christian homes they had long religious services celebrating the birth of their lord.

so, we have two religious holidays that have become bastardized, secularized, and rendered basically meaningless when celebrated by non-religious (well, not in 'that way') practicioners. and into this mix comes chismukkah, to further remove any sense of true meaning from the celebrations. so, i am the grinchblond? no- i am all for giving and receiving gifts- just be honest and call it what it is: i worship myself day. or it's all about me day. i want to get more stuff, to stuff in the few places in my home that are not already stuffed with stuff- so please ante up the loot. think of the t-shirt sales on those two suggestions alone!

i guess what i'm saying is- just don't make up holidays. holidays are supposed to be HOLY days- thus the word 'holiday'- so if you want to have a day, that's great. if you want to make up new reasons to celebrate, go ahead (look at hallmark). if you want to give gifts, or send fruitcakes, or light up your house like a runway, or have an office party so you can hook up with your coworker and then claim afterward that you were really really drunk, well, knock yourself out. but don't alienate people from their religious origins even more by dressing something in the guise of religion and passing it off to those too far removed from their own authentic traditions to recognize it.

and if you are a christian who doesn't embrace your own tradition and wear it with pride, and wish people merry christmas during the season because you are afraid to offend them- watch out, cuz i'm gonna come after you next...

why we love babies, part one of many

2005-12-04T09:32:00.000-08:00

out of the gazillion reasons to love babies, this one struck me this morning:

babies don't mind morning breath.

you can have the worst case of morning breath in recorded history, and if you kiss up your baby first thing in the morning, they will still give you that goofy baby grin, like you have just done the sweetest thing they have ever seen.

you can even talk to them, and breathe right in their little precious face, and they will just smile and drool and coo at you- as if your breath should not be classified by the military as a dangerous and deadly weapon.

babies are so great.

First Time's a Charm...

2005-12-03T17:12:00.000-08:00

so, here i am doing my first blog entry. cool, huh? if you are reading this, please be advised that i will rarely, if ever, use capital letters. i will probably get so carried away with myself that i will forget to make paragraphs. i will probably use run-on sentences. i will invariably have many typos that i just can't be bothered to correct. if this will bother you, either get a life or get off this blog. this is my world...but you will still love me, because i am lovable in my real-ness. if you're still reading this, and not cursing me out for sounding arrogant or ignorant, we are off to a good start.

so, the question is: what should the first blog entry be about? idaelly, it should be something splashy, something that will make you want to come back for more. but honestly, that's not gonna happen tonight. i had so many good ideas about what to blog about- you know, those ideas that sound great until you wake up and think it over and realize that was one of the many dumbest thoughts you've ever had?

so, (yes, i know, this is the third paragraph that has started with "so," and i said that i probably wouldn't make paragraphs- but this is my blog, remember?) let me just invite you to say something nice to me about this first post, even though it has no content. i promise you that juicy reading will lie ahead if you will just stick with me. i figure that my first blog and your first read of my blog should me more of a gentle caress than a smash over the head with a heavy object. (we'll leave that for later...)

so, (yes, #4) whaddaya say?